Francis a.k.a Sh'i-Lah

2007-12-22T10:32:00.000+08:00

Boo! the boy that will never grow up is making another bloggy entry. hehe, stopped blogging for a period as everything i do cannot be written on blogs. haha, national security issues. "Yeah, right..."

Well, i ran the marathon under 4Hr26Min02Sec. personal achievement considering the fact its my first run, and i didn't get the chance to properly train due to my work schedules.

Currently still working in the east, might be shifted to the west side... they need more middle-management personel at the west side currently. still lookin forward to my retirement. haha.

Haven't taken much photos anymore... camera is rusting in a corner of my cupboard. due to the fact i think i've lost all contacts with my social life. haha, no more clubbin, no more gatherings. now its just work work work. plus the fact my work only has male species... makes it all the more difficult to have a balance.

Argh! 3yrs on and i'm still missing TP badly. haha, the only stint in my life where i get to be close to any females. haha, i sound so sadly deprived. haha, think i am. oh well, i'll never grow up anyways.

Might get another job opportunity if all goes well. haha change job scope. hopefully it'd be better? haha, highly unlikely.

2007-08-26T09:30:00.000+08:00

Another short lived weekend. Starting to do a different thing during the weekends for a change. moving away from the "lonely" days that i've been having the past few weekends (due to everyone being busy) to one with an extended family gathering and catching up of old friends. short lived due to the fact that my work requires me back on Sun afternoon. Protecting the nation is always tiring (haha).

Missing out on the Army Half Marathon this yr once again due to my duties... sigh... what a lovely chance it would be to mingle and meet ppl from other units, make more friends etc. The previous AHM was also missed due to duties. Well, a note to console myself, i've finally signed up for the 2007 StanChart Marathon 2Dec must complete 42+Km under 5hrs. training shall begin "one day"... haha, let's see how much motivation i can squeeze out of myself.

2007-08-22T00:06:00.000+08:00

Can't sleep, its currently past my usual bed time. been ages since i last left anything on this blog. Nothing much interesting been happening. sadly my life seems to be wasting away more and more. feeling a deep sense of lonelyness and the oh-so-familiar "lost" feeling that i often get when i'm thinking the whole world hates me.

Haven't heard from close friends for some time now. left sms's, no replies. not even late ones. did my phone spoil? my friends are busy? my friends think i'm a nuisance? Things human minds starts to wander off the beaten path over such small matters over sms replies. haha, too much time. too much captivity. too little entertainment.

into my job for 2yrs+ now. coming to another close in this chapter of my training and career. Off to my next Appt in another 3mths time. Where will i go? i seem to already know this ans. What can i do to change this place where i'm going to? Nothing. Where would i want to go if i had the choice? I dont know. Seems like parting of ways for old colleagues, and meeting of new ppl. I hope i am able to keep in touch with the ppl that matter, and made a deep impact in my life thus far.

Church is far far away from my heart at the moment. people only come to you at times of need. faith faith faith, i lack this deeply. Where has all my previous fire and passion for the religion gone to? has it all been nothing but a facade? why couldn't i just come to your house and listen to what u have to say? a hour a week was what was needed. open my ears listen, open my heart and feel. can i not feel no more?

Been on a diet trying to lose my ugly bulging tummy. ate less, worked out more. instead i put on more weight. just went to cut my hair. bought new clothes. Vainity! does the outside appearence matter that much? but i feel so insecure without attempting to look better constantly.

I no longer feel the Aura i once had when i was in poly. walking with my head high, knowing that i can make a change and do things for people better. Being able to feel appreciated when work is done or effort is put in. now ppl just dont even bother. they dont even bother to reply my sms's.

Oops. We've seem to come full circle back to the original topic that's been keeping me awake at this unearthly hr. The emptiness feeling.

*btw, if u've actually bothered to endure all those words of emptiness in my feeling, pls drop me an a msg. it'd really brighten up my day to know that ppl still realise i'm alive. haha, thanks.

2007-07-01T18:21:00.000+08:00

Oh what a beautiful week this has been for me. 3Days on course which means no boring routine work. 2days of torture and the weekend arrives!

Fri night my sis came back from her holiday in taiwan so i met up with her to have dinner at jack's place. their steaks were good, done just the way i liked them. the dinner with my sis came with a price though... haha, i had to send her back home. and her "back home" was all the way across the island. Sis! Next time move closer to Tamp lah. haha

Sat was stoned at home chilling out from the Hot hot hot weather. Then as night fell, time to party. Met up with Connie to head out to Dbl O to drink drink drink and unwind. Think we came abit late. haha, Ell, Herbert and Robert was there. Met many nice ppl there and party! Wohoo. haha

Connie and me

Me Elliot and Herbert

Lay back, chill out with new friends!

2007-06-10T11:32:00.000+08:00

Time goes Wheeee! oh no... its gone. haha, flaap flap flp there she goes.

Time waits for no one. i feel strained, i feel old. memories of things are all that i have now.

moving forward, my job is starting to pick up its hectic pace once more. getting more and more outfields. more green green trees and huge ass insects that bite. haha

my room is still rather in a mess though i'm trying to sort it out. i guess i'm just too lazy to get off this chair and squat down to pull stuff out from under my bed. muahaha, everything goes under it to make the appearence of the rm neat at a glance.

got more toys for my car added in 2blocks of VPM spark booster, and Pivot Raizin Spark stabiliser. i do feel the increase in power. or is that becasue i'm stepping more now? haha with greater power, comes the tempting ache to feel and abuse it. muahaha

2007-05-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

Diving at Tioman immediately when i was allowed to leave the country after mths and mths of busy training and activities.

Its been ages since i last dived, actually a little over 3yrs. it was a wonderful experience and memory. and i cant wait to do more diving once i get another chance to get away from life and all its worries.

The beautiful beach, the carefree life, the simple things that satisfy oneself was easy to make u get absorbed in this unreal world.

2007-04-06T20:56:00.000+08:00

Back home, Back to shifting my things into my new room. Things to consider would be the starhub cable tv and internet connection which needs to be shifted to the other house unit. My car is also over due on its servicing, that is also another thing that needs looking into... but with me being in camp all days long its not that easy a thing to do.

Managed to run my SOC test under 9:14 to pass Guards standard. 9:45 was difficult for many, and just because i wear this tab that says "Guards" i had to do 30sec faster than an infantry personell, how unfair... haha, anyway i managed to pass the timing suffering abit of injury from the run.

Things Hidden under my bed

Injury from running SOC in 8:16, Guess i haven't been training hard enough

2007-04-02T20:06:00.000+08:00

A beautifully long weekend, 4days long, is nearing an end.

My really empty new rm is nearly full, My really full old rm is nearly empty.

Today had a job morale boosting session conducted by an ex-fellow GCC course mate was really enriching. It once again injected that little bit of hope and dream into me to get off my lazy ass and work for something again. Todays' take away lesson for me would be a reminder how important having the right contacts are. Somethings can not be done by normal people and doors can only be opened internally by a friend.

Job opportunities are in abundance. You have to look in the right places, talk to the right people to come to know of them. I guess i still have a long way more to go. Many more people to meet, many more places to go, many more things to be done.

Old Rm

New Rm

2007-04-01T12:33:00.000+08:00

This week was a wonderful one with dinner, clubbing and Porsche! Porsche porsche porsche! all thanks to good friends.

Feeding Time

Guessing Game @ China1

Porsche

2007-03-18T19:54:00.000+08:00

My name is : -

F: People adore you.
R: Very crazy
A: likes to drink
N: Dead Sexy.
C: is wild and crazy
I: Very crazy
S: Easy to fall in love with

LEGEND
A: likes to drink
B: Likes people
C: is wild and crazy
D: Has one of the best personalities ever.
E: A GOOD KISSER
F: People adore you.
G: never let people tell you what to do
H: Have a very good personality and looks.
I: Very crazy
J: Lives life for fun.
K: Really silly.
L: Loved by everyone
M: Makes dating fun.
N: Dead Sexy.
O: Best in bed.
P: Popular with all types of people.
Q: A hypocrite.
R: Very crazy
S: Easy to fall in love with
T: Loyal to those you love.
U: Really like to chill.
V: Not judgemental.
W: Very broad minded.
X: Never let people tell you what to do.
Y: One of the best damn bf/gf anyone could ask for.
Z: Always ready.

Well well... i got bored and ripped this off a blog from my friend. apperrently... i'm Crazy. it seems "crazy" appears in my name too often. haha

2007-03-18T19:31:00.000+08:00

my unit is reaching another stage of its training. now we're more in-camp and trying to achieve impossible results for ippt, soc and other static military matters. hehe, this translated in simple english would equate to more physical training = more tiring, but less out-field = more free time.

Trying to organise "friend-friend meet-up" sessions during this "relaxed" period. Freedom is something that doesn't come by easy for ppl in the green green uniforms. haha

My status of my new rm is doing great. the table and shelves are done, my wardrobe is done, the lighting is being done up as i type and soon the painters are going to come. Once those fixtures are settled, i guess i'll start shifting my current possessions. then maybe in 2-3mths time i'll start hunting for a 32" LCD tv, a home theatre system, and curtains to drape all over the rm to prevent the boucing of sound waves on the concrete walls. muahaha. long live the music lovers!

My rm shall be the place i use to run away from it all. all the problems, troubles, and what-not's. Its just going to be me, myself and i. doing things i love doing most. chilling out and sleeping till theres no tomorrow. muahaha

2007-03-04T11:01:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year season is over. additional cash has always been welcomed.

Bought another digital camera, a small stylish one for me to carry around with more mobility (IXUS60). Although outdated, this cameras' features satisfy all my criterias that i've set out for a small cmaera. plus the price and freebies they threw in was a good fetch. with the additional warranty i purchased, now i'm just waiting for the camera to break down more to get a newer model at no additional cost. muahaha, wishful thinking. i think the claiming process is going to be super "ley-chey".

Finally i've begun my works on my "stock" VIOS. Started off with adding raizin Volt Stab with 8point grounding, cyclone III after the air filter before the air in-take manifold, and twin power in-take. Feeling the difference in the pick up already, now i have to get used to the feeling of the car all over again. The changes i did put the vehicle into a whole new feel. Wonder what damages it's going to do to the petrol consumption. haha

Getting hooked to modifying the car, now all i can think about all day is what other toys i can throw into the vehicle to make it run faster faster faster. haha, think i better started saving more money to make for this new hobby i've acquired. haha

2007-02-17T11:06:00.000+08:00

many a things have been happening. seem to remember only all of the bad right now. thus i shall not write them all down. it exactly somethings i wanna put down in my "things to remember" memory.

Had heat exhaustion during one of my most "Shiong" outfield sessions. on the 8th day out i felt feverish during noon. decided to just rest abit and i'd recover. didn't happen that way... nearing 7pm we had a mock situation to handle and in the middle of all the drama, i created one myself. haha, i blacked out and ppl had to rush me to the closest medical facility. my temperature was running at 39.2 degrees and the staff there had to cool me down quickly. they chucked me into the BCU (Body Cooling Unit), which was basically a really cold room with cold water sprinklers. haha, they gave me cold water torture for 20min to drop my body temp by 0.7degrees. i was also given injections and panadol before they finally decided that i would live and left me alone to rest. what a bad experience i tell u. even now that i'm supposedly fully recovered, i still get occassional muscle cramps which i think i got from the incident.

on a gd note, from the 8days i was out, i lost some body fat. not sure how much my weight fell by, but one thing is for sure though. my abs are BACK! muahaha, still have a bulging stomach problem to solve... haha, "8pack beer belly". so in love with my body. ok time to clean my mirror and appreciate my beauty again. muahaha.

finally bought a small sleek camera for me to carry arnd. a simple point and shoot camera, canon IXUS 60. an old trusty model. as it was a discontinued model i got it at a good price with loads of toys thrown in as well. next step is to open my mouth, be thick skinned and ask ppl to take photos with me. muahaha, now thats not going to be all that easy...

2007-01-22T18:00:00.000+08:00

New year new resolutions? hmm... thought these things should be written before the year begins? haha, oh well lets just say the year is still new and not too late to make resolutions hehe.

1. Save $15,000 by year end
2. Get a ripped body and be as fit as i look
3. Get a social life and expand my circle of friends
4. Stay healthy

well, thats all for now i guess. dont wanna text myself too much and get bogged down by these dreams should i fail to achieve some if i list too many. haha, conservative is the way to go.

Was tempted to put getting a gf this yr, but then again... its been a resolution every other yr i'm trying to lie to myself that i don't need it this year. muahaha.

2007-01-07T20:38:00.000+08:00

Just completed another regimental guard duty on a weekend. sighz, more duties to clear this mth. How how how? am i going to swish through the remaining years before my retirement? haha. attempting to pick up reading books again. but from the point of view of my dear mr. wallet, i shouldn't attempt to do anything foolish. haha.

Trying to reach my goal of saving 1k a mth again. last yr wasn't such a fruitful yr in terms of saving, but a hell'a good for my investment options. plus now that i have a steady liability to handle every month. squeezing the pockets a must to achieve the target. Wonder if thats what i truely want to attain at the end of the day. haha, what good is money if u don't enjoy the fruits of your labour.

Then again, maybe if i continue to suffer myself now, i'd have a better life to come in the future. maybe even early retirement! muahaha. stingy poker i will be.

In a few more days i'll become old again. this yr... after the many years of drunk parties, is a time for a break. nothing special bout 22 anyways. haha, anyway i wouldn't wanna damage my body by having one too many drinks in a single night.

Will miss the gathering of friends though! miss u girls and guys loads.
Miss me too ya? ;)

2007-01-02T01:00:00.000+08:00

Another year has gone by with a bat of an eyelash. Gone are the good old days where we'd go to the local coffee shop buy ourselves beer, drink our fill and head on down to church for mid-night mass on christmas eve. Gone are the days where we'd go to a night scene and count down to the new yr and party till we were wasted. And those? Were the good old days.

This year, it was a season for self control. so i thought. No more smoking, no more binge drinking till i'd spill the last meal all over the side walk. This years christmas was simple, with family. 29Dec went to Dbl O to check out what i've missed while i was out of the clubbing scenes. Nothing, still the same old smokey environment, the nostalgic smell of alcohol overdose, the irritatingly loud music that keeps thumping and the jam-packed bodies that like to bump into you every corner u stood. Nothing has changed. I still prefer the chill out pubs where you just oreder your drink, sit your ass on a comfortable sofa and listen to a live band rockin and rollin.

The 30th was a more special night to remember. Party at Mr. DJ's house. haha, Rock On Dude! had a more enjoyable time and not to mention more dose of alcohol on that night. that was one night where i totally forgot how much of liquer i drank and surprisingly did not get wasted. Started off with bourbon, had some vodka, think i had more vodka, little bit of bourbon again, more vodka... then champagne. haha, turned red twice that night. by far i've never attempted to do that before. and i even managed to drive myself back home after that! Whee... no i was not drunk when i drove. had loads of rest before i moved the car out of the lot.

Another Happy Christmas and Merry New Year
Cheers to all.
And back to work (Damnit!)

2006-12-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

A mth has gone by, more thoughts than possible have filtered through my brain.

Christmas time is near, in fact its already here. i've yet to sort out presents. just purchased steven his gift for the Xmas Exchange that we started last yr. This time i'm giving steven, Patrick's giving me. patrick Gave me already. love the smell, makes me feel like a business man again.

Still in the Army, Still trying to enjoy my work, Still receiving painful reminders that i should get out. I'm on my own workout schedule now. i must maintain being focused in achieving my goals... i must i must... haha

My car is a wonderful piece of machine that i really love. don't think i'll be adding anymore toys to it. after all... its a red plate and its got 4 wheels and transports me to the places i need to go. Why would i want a faster car? a more powerful car? True life is never enough. Thats why we should once in awhile hold ourselves down and say "I'm happy."

2006-11-19T17:41:00.000+08:00

believe me when i say i'm stressed lately. stressed over what? a few minor things that constantly add up and amount into big problems.

Most of these things actually need not have to be worried about as there is no humanly possible way i could control the situation. Changes are happening all around, some are easier to receive while others are just a pain in the arse to try to cope with.

I'll be shifting out of my cosy little rm to an empty room by force. now i have a headache trying to decide how i'd like the design to be, my budget i could fork out for this renovations and finally finding the right furniture to go along with the rm. maybe i could get it done before my birthday and i could invite a small grp of friends over for a "room warming" party. haha.

My car is still empty and untouched. no time or $$ have been assigned for modifications as yet.

I've been down on my luck with work and being targeted for the "suay'est Saikangs" haha, but then again its not as if others don't get such things. it's just that well... when u've been fired an arrow at and have to bite it and go on with life... it's quite a torture. If you enjoy the job u do, u'll never have to work another day. I've been WORKING 24hrs a day, go figure.

My financial situation has suffered heavy battering with my recent purchase of a certain liability in singapore called, a Car. haha, a huge amt was put out for downpayment, mthly instalment of $320+, and the hidden costs such as petrol and parking fees... all these seem to be eating up my salary as it comes in. money in, money out. haha

My investments on the other hand, are doing pretty well. and thats like one of the things that have gone right lately in these days of wrong. haha

Christmas is coming, jolly old joyous feelings should be following soon i pray.

2006-11-16T18:02:00.000+08:00

sighz... no idea why i keep on getting into unnecessary trouble. first i have to sign an extra duty due to my men having a rusty parang in brunei. but hey i must say i did a pretty good job with the signal stores over there. haha.

while i was sleeping this afternoon, i received a call informing i'm going to be on alert red status. that really put a sock in my day. haha, its almost as good as signing a few more extras... kiss my weekend meetings with friends good bye.

please please get me out of this prison... haha, where'd all the passion for the adventure of military life went? stiffled by stupid rules, unreasonable people and the hard brick wall of reality. i guess all i have left is but 1yr more to go with this current life. hurry hurry come... haha, oh wait a min... even if i move on, i might not like my next posting either! oh damnit, 4yr+ more to go. hip hip, hooray! haha

few more hours to go before i have to confine myself for the next 60hrs, release from jail on sunday morning only to be asked to return sun night. haha, this job sucks! need to find something to look forward to... other than the weekends, cause from the looks of it? my weekends seem to be harder and harder to come by and short lived when they do arrive.

2006-10-15T06:22:00.000+08:00

So many things have been happeed since i last posted something on this blog. Now this bloggy of mine has become a once in awhile log of events. haha, no longer do i upkeep and maintain blogging often.

Too many thoughts running thru my mind right now. Leaving for Brunei come 26Oct'06, tmr begins all the kit bag packings. i got this big knot in my stomach after hearing all the tough things that happens in brunei... Bout how the heat is a killer, wet boots all the time, insects that crash into you, and of course stories of those mountains that never ends and keeps on going going goin up. haha

A friend of mine has proposed an alternative to my lack of enthu for my current job. and that would be to change dept... Suddenly now we both wanna get out of Gds and shift to Cdo, be in Crf. (Sorry of the excessive use of short form, just note that my intent is to have job rotation happen) Crf ain't that bad, it'd be an achievement and pay increase. not to mention its got recce training built in. couldn't be happier. But it ain't going to be easy to get into Crf... Heard the selection criteria is the same as Sof!

Argh, gotta go get ready for my weekend Cos duty already...
Take care you'all

2006-09-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

The coming week has never looked so bleak before... haha, there's only one thing to look forward to this week, and that'd be the end of the week! Woot! come come come quickly please! Looking at the program schedule, i'd be outfield training for the whole of the week it's going to be a 4D3N holiday in green under the stars. Lack of sleep, no proper shower, running arnd with heavy load. sigh.

I sure miss the gd old days of just doing normal camping outdoors, no rifle, no green camou on my face. Just me against the weather. That was so much more relaxed and laid back. Everything was calm and easy, now outfields is like with a mission and that mission cannot be compromised. i hate being under preasure! haha, wonder what kind of job is there that doesn't need me to be under any preasure from the Mr. Boss.

6yrs, 5yrs, 4yrs, oh man its counting down. Both quickly and slowly at the same time. Need it to be fast so the sufferings end and freedom begins. Need it to be slow as only uncertainty and rough seas lay ahead pass the contract. will i stay on, will i leave. Will i make loads of money, will i make ends meet? come check back with me at the end of the 6yrs and all shall be revealed.

At current? all i wanna do is try to be happy. :D

Still waiting for an angel to fall out of the skies right into my lap. then she'd look at me with those perfectly enchanting eyes and tell me i saved her life. and we'd ride off into the sunset happily ever after. Hmm... Which book again am i dreaming i'm in?

2006-09-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

Boo!

Time to start looking forward, and i did. Spent the pass 2weeks wondering what i'm supposed to do now to make my future a more easier life to live. so here the story goes, if i leave SAF at the end of my 6yrs? and stop working for some reason or another. i'd be dead by the 4th year of my retirement. HAHA! that means i gotta save an avg of 1k every mth just so that i can fund myself without working while i pursue my degree at 26. (Plus maybe i might even get a young pretty girl to settle down with when i go back and study. Oops, strayed from my serious thoughts...)

So that's about as far as i thought about. On another note, i've finally bought a blazer that fits me for my sisters wedding. Whee...! so cool! my sister is getting married!

2006-08-20T19:44:00.000+08:00

Military life is starting to ease itself back into my unit. with NDP done and over behind us, next step is to shift the focus back into being army personnel. sighz... how i'd hate that idea. HAHA

27Aug is the AHM run, i was so looking forward to going for the 21km run. psyched up even... then the bomb shell was let lose on me. i have guard duty the day before that. my batallion is conducting a swim carnival, a day to tan under the sun and splash splash in the water. Then another bombshell hit me on my head. i have COS duties on that day. Why is the round round world so cruel to me?

Men are selfish, Therefore the world is cruel.
or
The world is cruel, Thus men became selfish.

Pls Comment, i'd like to hear your views.

2006-08-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

ok, here's the low down.

Finally done with NDP'06. Wasted shit loads of time doing nothing (i'm actually happy. HAHA, beats charging hills anytime.) Gowing lazier as the days go by. Haven't hit the swimming pool for ages... Haven't visited the gym to tone my flabby'ing muscles for donkey months. well... actually i'm still thick skinned enough to announce my body still looks great. HAHA, i'm truely in love with my own body.

Going to rid myself of my current ride. i was thinking... Shit man, i'm 21 and still driving an old car. so... i made my way down to borneo motors and bought me a new car. Think it should be arriving soon. From the way i counted the financing, i think it's a better financial option to buy a new vehicle. Pay less mthly, Newer car, Why not?

nce again i've been craving for new toys to buy... For now, gadgets related to cars seem to be finding itself into my head very often. HAHA, what to do? getting new car means more new things to dream about.

Performance Parts

Iridium Spark Plugs
Racing Spark Plug Cables
Volt Stabiliser
Volt Amplifier
Grounding cables
Cold Air In-Take Filter
Air Preasure Boosters

Interior
Tinted Windows
Sound System + Sub-Woofer
Bucket Seats
Steering Wheel
Ext Gauges
OBD II Scan tool and a Laptop

Exterior
Skirtings
Rear Spoiler
Side and rear visors
Lighting Housing
Sports Rims

Haha, thats a really a long list now that i've typed it out. Haha, what'd i think this is? Need for Speed racing game? i can't even make money off the car. Owning a Car in Singapore is hardly an investment. It's deffinitely a Heavy Liability with a speedy Asset Depreciation though.

2006-07-10T21:42:00.000+08:00

With this blog entry marks another end of a weekend. oh wonderful weekend why do u have to go by... haha, if only we'd never have to work another day, everyday could be devoted to doing other things that truely fulfill us. just like when we were kids where we'd just run around all day playing toys not having a care in the world.

Time turns back for no one. good times we've had, gd times more we have to make. learn lessons from the past and look to the future. thats the lesson in life i was reminded of this weeks break. there ain't no point holding on to things that have already gone pass, but look to the future and make things happen.

Time management once again is a problem when it comes to managing the little bit that i have during my weekly breaks from green. haven't met up with so many grps of friends. haha, don't worry guys i still miss u all!

Smile, Everyday is a Sunday!
There is Always Tomorrow

If tomorrow never comes?

Hey, it's still a Sunday!

2006-06-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

Yet another freak accident styled injury has befallen the Hero (Me! Francis.)

220606 1220hrs was the date and time of the mysterious accident.

after being point section and successfully navigating the platoon to the FUP 5km away, my section became the "breaching section" where i was to lead my fearless 6men charging at the concentina wire and breaching it so that my platoon could do its job of over-throwing the dug in positions of the enemy of "red land"

Grp1 with me leading them got close enough to the wire obstacle before enemy fire hailed upon us. i quickly called for my bangalore torpedo to be set up and ignited. "ready to ignite!" shout my brave men. "ignite now!" i shouted. we retreated back to link up with the platoon before the big BANG. thats when it happened, i tripped on vines, fell a meter down a ditch, SAR21 rifle hit the ground vertically a split second before my throat contacted the scope of the weapon. i got up, ran back to the cover just in time. "BANG!!!" Grp1 got up and sprinted back to the breaching point.

i was "declared" dead by the RSM as he said there was an enemy trench firing str at me. though dead, i instructed my men to carry on the mission.

breaching was successful, the platoon got thru, they captured the objective. and the "dead" sergeant was rushed to the training shack only to wait 45 mins before he was rushed to sungei gedong medical centra, only to wait another 1hr before he was rushed to NUH. (typical SAF theory, Rush to Wait, Wait to Rush).

i entered A&E first, then went on to the ENT specialist clinic, back to A&E to awit for a ward to be free for me to bunk into. after 1.5hrs of waiting, i was given Ward53 Bed 17. discharged the next day and here i am, sitting at the front of the comp, typing my exciting adventure... sheesh...

Me with the huge bruise

Close up of the once swollen bruise

2006-06-18T21:50:00.000+08:00

hehe, i like this picture. its not everyday i get to wear a business suit anymore. miss those days where i strut around in long sleeve shirt feeling on top of the world. life has changed drastically in the past year and i no longer feel the self confidence i used to command. my confidence came with my ability to talk well back in poly, where smoking your way through every lesson could score me passable grades.

Army on the other hand, had totally nothing to do with talking. i can be the best talker, but if i can't convince myself on the product that i'm selling? then i've failed right from the start. You only become a good lier when u are able to lie to yourself. haha.

2006-06-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

Boo! i've been coming back home often lately at nights. :D feels gd to be hacking at the keyboards back at home just chilling out listening and enjoying the music and songs. too many things i miss about being an ordinary citizen, but hey no... i made my choice a long time back to lead a restricted life of regimentation. haha.

once again i'm battling problems of properly controlling my finances. money comes in, money goes out. and i'm trying to figure out to where it goes?! i hardly spend time outside yet i spend such huge amts of money every mth it scares me to receive my financial statements. looking back, alot of it goes to really expensive toys which i hardly get to fully utilise! what the heck is wrong with my mentality? haha

With all the extras that i've been signing due to "mishaps" in my job, i've hardly had proper time to meet up with friends. balancing the little bit of time is further hindered by the fact the freedom times are hardly fixed. Last minute things always pop out to screw the day up, and i find it impossible to make pre-arrangements with ppl as most of the time i'd have to "fly-their-kite" The feeling is totaly undescribable in words for this bloggy. haha

oh well, going back in again now.
Take care you all who bother to know whats "bitching" in the life of Francis Daniel.

2006-06-03T09:27:00.000+08:00

Haven't been posting for some time now. nothings changed enough to warrant me spending time blogging. hehe, time is precious. cherish it. i've lost mine to the clock-keeper and now i miss those days where i just sit infront of my comp and zone out into space. it's been the best week of the mth, for once... i didn't have to go outfield. haha, any week without outfield is a good week.

Going to meet Kenneth in awhiles time to go look see look see at the IT fair in suntec. i've got absolutely no idea why i'm going there, as i don't intend to buy anything just yet. bit tight on the finances. probably just to oogle at the funky new toys that have sprouted out in this fast paced technologically advancing world.

finances are tight as above mentioned. basically what i'm meaning to say is that my assets are no longer as liquid as before. still yet to get the long-overdue insurance coverage which i've been meaning to get from the start of my job 1 whole yr ago... haha injuries are aplenty and i think being safe and covered is a good thing, but for such premiums that i've seen... no wonder insurance agents that perform avg drive big cars. HAHA

Time management has been seen to be in play more often these days. i really need to juggle it more properly. but how do u find more time when u don't have time to plan your time in the first place? haha, confused? oh come on, i'm sure your brain processing powers can keep up (unless u're wearing a helmet reading this). it's like a standing fact that any soldier, once dawned the protective headgear we call helmet, loses all capabilities of thought and rational thinking. HAHA

Need more sleep.... oops, late to meet my friend.
CIAO!

2006-05-14T09:38:00.000+08:00

wonderful long weekend! and today is already the last day of i t... what a pity. haha, but it was really great.

Escaped from behind the bars on thur, got home and crashed like a sack of potatoes. fianlly had my beauty sleep of 12hrs str. Bummed around the whole lazy afternoon till dinner time where i went out to meet my church YGrp friends. Dinner at Arab St. and beer at 57Chevy. Love the sound system there, not to mention the live band was of "some" standards. But down side was that the DJ segment songs were not exactly to my likings. haha, and the place is more than slightly crowded (with aunties and uncles). The songs played by the live band was totally old sch! which accounts for the more elderly ppl visiting it. hehe.

Sat was a day of running all over the shop. morning had a meeting for Scouts, after that was sourcing for insurance, and finally meeting TP friends fofr dinner.

The TP dinner thingy was intiated by an old, long-time-no-see friend of mine. there was supposed to be 4 ppl involved in total, but suddenly the other couple backed out. leaving just me and her. totally not comfy with that! haha, in the end, 2superheros came to my rescue and saved my day.

Today... today... i need to cut my hair and make a few electrical appliance purchases. Might also try to squeeze time to meet up with my 2 superheros from last night. HAHA

2006-05-07T17:23:00.000+08:00

Been sick nearly 1 whole week now, can't seem to get over it. Since last sat i was down with the flu. though i think i got enough rest, it just keeps coming back to re-visit me. i was even cornered to the point where i had to take panadol. i Hate! taking panadol... haha, i'd rather my own body work its magic and recover naturally. i guess i'm not that healthy after all? haha

Fri was a seminar and they managed to get a hold and invite down the CO of CPC, which overlooks all the Regulars promotion. He brought forth confirmation of bad news... it's been chunning in my guts and i just didn't know what to do all along... SAF's HR strategy is of one where they over hire then slowly weed out those that they don't want. and currently? the WOSPEC core is over-saturated and well... thats pretty bad for me. the route of advance back then was like 1yr sect comm, then enter PS tour already. now, they've informed me that i'll have to go through1yr Sect comm in Guards, "dumped" into either ADF or SISPEC for another 2 yrs, before i can be eligible for the PS tour... What the heck?! haha

I used to want to stay all the way, become a warrant officer at a young age. And be able to peak the top of the WOSPEC rank. But with this confirmation of over-saturation of Specialists above me! i think its time to re-think my future and start preparing for my exit strategy and how to smoothly transit into my next phase of like.

Watch mission impossible 3 yesterday. so cool! haha, how i wish i could do all those stunts. everyday would be like so near death adrenaline but i could never die! haha, yeah right, whose life is so perfect that such luck comes his way. Fantasy and Reality.

"women are the enemy, stay away from them"

words of a soon-to-be-famous friend of mine.

2006-04-16T09:57:00.000+08:00

Guardsman! Guards Tab! Khaki Beret!

GCC is now done, over, and behind me! OH YEAH! Another achievement accomplished. now its time for me to receive my man and train hard with them. Heard i might get posted to ADF in sometime of my career. I'll deffinitely try to get "diver" course and i might even try for ranger course. who knows? haha

Trying to piece my life back together now. friends is the first priority, there are many grps of ppl whom have made differences in my life, yet so far i've only managed to hang on to 3, I-Guides (Old birds club), Church (best buds), and Church (Ex-Band). Time to reconnect back with the rest before they totally dissappear from my life and never be found till fate chances path across us again.

My body Aches, and i've looked carefully at it and realised with all the training i've been doing. I've grown fat, chest is no longer my pride and joy, and my abs are so totally faded they're about to become the united kingdom of roundness. haha! whats going on? i eat alot and i guess army training just isn't specific enough to strengthen the muscles i would need to look good with my shirt off. haha

2006-04-09T17:55:00.000+08:00

life has been great i think... i no longer think... great is worst, good is both bad and wonderful. Basically? i'm at a lost and totally messed up mind frame right now.

1more week of senseless torture and i should be getting my khaki beret. after that i'm not very sure whats truely going to happen to me. all i know is that i'm going to get my new 6 "good friends" and take care of the section. Hope it'll be less of a time taking thing? i really wanna catch up with my social life and stuff like that.

even zoning out infront of the computer at home beats being stuck behind bars waiting earnestly for saurdays to come and free me!

Theres new things i want! woot! i think after i'm done doing this blog, i'll go update my wishlist and see what i've managed to acquire and what more things i wanna get! haha, somehow i get this feeling theres gonna be more toys i'll be gettign.

Speaking of toys?! i have a very strong gut feel i'm going to get my 5th pair of oakleys! haha, square wire, polarized. My unit got this offer on oakley sunglasses for military spec (special issue) Oakleys. not much variety, everything is all black to suit military use. but the really attention grabber is the crazy cheap price the shades are going for. REALLY worth the catch. and being a oakley fan, i couldn't pass the chance... now i'm even looking at how i might be able to get perfect eyesight to wear my beloved oakleyS. haha

2006-03-19T16:37:00.000+08:00

Hey all (well, more like to who-ever-actually reads this blog)

My comp died on me recently after coming back from my taiwan training. so i've been rather busy trying to get my life back in place. how might u ask are these things connected? i'll tell u its VERY connected. i've been so used to my computer and technology that without knowing it, i can't move on without them. (bet some of u out there are going thru the same thing, whether u realise it or NOT!)

My management of finanaces, records of things to do, Guitar Chords, Mp3, and many many others were all once serving me while my old comp was up and running. once it went down, i spent money without control, i had lost my 2 most impt entertainment means (mp3 and guitar playing), and i had no idea what i needed done...

Anyways for those interested to know... i'm currently in the first week of my GCC, the pace has just picked up by 2 notches... in the first 2.5days alone, we've done at least 80 pull ups each, ran 5km in long4 and SBO attire, swam 1.5km in total. the weekend was totally wasted on sleeping and catching rest.

going to be about another 4more weeks of this kind of schedule before i throw away my green beret. WOOT! haha, thats the final goal i'm after.

2006-02-22T16:52:00.000+08:00

i'm back from my "educational tour" visit to taiwan. my 22days "zoo" visit was spectacular! the weather was wonderfully freezing! thank goodness i didn't have to go during their full-blown winter period. i think i would just skip trainings all together and just huddle up in one corner to keep warm.

i pretty much don't wanna talk bout the trainings, i felt it was just all bad! but hey, i'll tell u what i'm a gonna do. i'm going to lie to u saying that "Classified info, if i tell u, i'm going to have to kill u." so that i wouldn't have to tell u anything! wow, i'm a genious. *mumbles: nobody likes me, everybody hates me, i'm going to eat some worms.....

During the REAL holiday tour, we visited many boring places of interest (contradicting? i know...) best times were still spent watching DVD on the bus while travelling from one boring destination to the other. my camera froze out and died out on me too! during a visit to an underwater world thing-of-ma-jig. nothing has been going well for me it seems... bad bad luck these days. oh no maybe this is not my YEAR! darn i have another 10 more miserable mths left to go thru. might as well make the best of it and assist fate in screwing up my life for me MYSELF! oow i love that idea.

Last 24hrs in taiwan was spent shopping! whee... bought a pair of nike sneakers, 3long sleeve shirts, a t-shirt. it was really really fun seeing my money disappear. *POOF*! all S$400 of it gone with a flick of my wrist. haha.

going back to camp now... have fun out there u guys! take care, till we meet again.

2006-02-03T20:06:00.000+08:00

UPDATE: Francis will be away on "educational tour" in taiwan to see the "zoo" from 4Feb till 22Feb. He will not be able to be reached. so forget bout attempting to call him up to perform any "miracles".

Once i'm done enduring the cold and rain in taiwan, i'll be back and passing out of SISPEC as a 3SG, then its to the sch of khaki.

Today was a great day slacking at home, its been a really long time since i commited to "House arrest" and did nothing but stone at home. Since entering, my Free time had always been taken up to buy necessities for camp or to "catch-up on old times" with all my wonderful friends that i'm blessed with.

Hey all, matters are complicating up in camp. i'm starting to become paranoid and self-conscious. I think the ppl in my Platoon don't quite like me. haha, Maybe i talk too much, maybe i complain too much, maybe i just don't have that human-to-human touch when it comes to talking to ppl. I used to be someone noticable, now i feel like i'm slowly becoming just-another-face-in-the-crowd. My standard of English has greatly plummeted since leaving St.Pat's, realised that when i heard real english again (from an Officer and another from a Doctor-to-be distant cousin.)

Left behind... Left alone... Time to pick up from where i ended off? How could i do that? in need of a drastic change in life to Block out chinese speaking ppl again. Time to start conversing in roper english again? difficult task it shall be... Necessary Task it IS.

2006-01-22T16:43:00.000+08:00

long time since i last blogged once again. the weekly breakouts from "prison" seem to be getting more and more precious as i start to dread the training of SISPEC. Feelings of army has constantly been changing from before i signed on, before i entered, in BMT, in SISPEC.

Before i signed on i was full of drive and curiosity as to what army could provide me, oh what funs i'd have when i'm inside Guards. The adrenaline filled life-style of battle-life.

Before i entered when i was still in poly was the great pleasures of spending on the fruits of labour i have yet to do. The $$ i got from the sign on bounty gave a gd financial Hmph! to my small bank acc. I could do things i wanted to do, wanted to get without thinking twice (now starting to wonder why i bought things that i have toally no use for... Hmm... not so smart after all)

Bmt life was FUN! thought my life was shaping out the way i exactly wanted it to be, tough training, yet acceptable. a good balance of getting "tekan" and having own admin time to do my own things. Life was regimental, yet still enjoyable knowing that i was part of one of the toughest Companies in BMT. Ninja company ah, the best company ah...

SISPEC, i don't even want to talk bout this crap place. This is the part where i start to tell u i AM REGRETING signing on. haha, comparing my company with others... i am still part of the toughest company... but now i don't enjoy being here... all i receive out of this company is the fear of getting confined, getting charged, getting more "shit-work" to do. My company does not belief in Rewards, only Punishments. The morale of the guys all arnd me is of "Get-me-out-of-here-QUICK!" haha

Guards? i really hope my next assignment is going to be a better one compared with my current situation. Best of LUCK! haha

Aside of the "Green Life" i went back to TP yesterday for TPOH'06! wonderful, stressful memories were brought back. The gd old days when i used to be Head of I-Guides, the amt of stress i was under, the amt of fun i used to have being stressed Head. hahaha, really fun. Today i went for a meeting with some of the Scouts of Katong District. Another sense of satisfaction fills me as i feel remembered by them. the other one thing apart from I-Guides and Scouts that brings me back to the World, would be my Band. Caramel. Love those 3 things to bits! haha, take care, gd luck guys.

2006-01-08T17:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was my 21st Birthday celebrations. It was a BLAST of a time for me! i hope that those who were there enjoyed themselves too! drank till i was tipsy, got my boxers wedggied till it tore, got 2 slices of cake on mybody, nearly got clipped on my nippers... hell of a fun time i tell u. miss those wild parties i used to be invited to. Where are they now?! yesterdays one re-kindled my love for house parties. those rock the block down man.

Received many lovely presents from all! love every single one of them. my alcohol cupboard still isn't seeming to go down even after yesterdays racket. haha, i seriously think i have a little more than too much. but hey, the more variety the merrier! haha, running low on tequila. oh well.

Have to book in to camp again in awhiles time. one day of training followed by another day out! oh i love these holidays so. hope the trainings would be more relaxed with the constant raining thats been happening these past 2 days? will they last, will lightning strike, thunder clap, and training cancel. haha, wishing and hoping.

2005-12-26T15:08:00.000+08:00

Christmas time has come! and gone. haha today as i blog is the 26Dec'05 time has really zoomed by. quite weird, i just realised my last book out and weekend i didn't leave a splot of my memories on this blog. *trying hard to remember why i didn't blog*

Past week we did watermanship. had my balls soaked in cold, muddy water for 2days... friday had live-firing for "Flanking". Ran the SOC test blind on christmas eve. managed to score 9:02 if i saw the timing correctly! Oh yeah! working its way down to below 9min slowly but surely. why i said blind? read on below for the gruesome details.

During the night of the live-firing i was in bunk cleaning my rifle and soemthing almost horrific happened. a freak accident happened and my bolt carrier group (part of a rifle), shot into my face. Shattering the right lens of my specs and cutting my eye lid in 3 different areas and bruising my eye-ball. it was really scary. the moment the impact hit i closed my eyes from the initial shock, then i kept it close due to fear. Fear of what would life be like if i opened it and saw nothing. all the things that i would not be able to do. it really terrified me. I finally picked up enough courage to face reality and opened my eyes slowly. light rushed in to meet my eye. i could still see! Gosh it sure was scary. If i hadn't wore glasses? gone...

well, when i booked out i went to meet Kenneth and Charlene as well as her sis and friend for lunch. then went home relaxed abit before meeting ashley for dinner at fish and co. followed by mass with my band friends at midnight. Xmas day itself was packed with running arnd visiting different ppl's house and checking out all the girls on the streets.

Present from My Guards Friends. Exchange of presents.

2005-12-11T10:31:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: To-Whom-Ever is reading my Blog, sorry if the entries are totally boring and context is unfamiliar to u (esp if u're not in Army or never been to Army). This is MY BITCHING ground. and if u do spend time reading it, and would like to try to cosole feel free to TAG, SMS
or call me. Haha

another post for my weekly blog. 1week down of my ASLC think bout 11 more to go. first few weeks will be concentrating on physical fitness (IPPT and SOC) Hope that would go well, do once, get it done and over with. IPPT aiming for a minimum of Silver, and as for SOC to beat my previous timing of 9:24 and maybe even try to work it under 9:00. Looks hard to achieve after i ran the SOC route in PLC for the first time. Panting hard and ended with a horrific timing of 11:15... that doesn't even qualify a PASS! my gosh! what happened that day? i do not know. it seems everyone else also did impossibly ridiculous timings. and to think i thought that SOC would be a breeze after all the running arnd in Full Battle Order in the ending weeks of BSLC.

ASLC started horribly in my eyes. was appointed LSM, but probably screwed up the job while i was trying too hard to get ppl to cooperate with me. well, it was a good enxperience and the "assessment" for that part was done and over with. The following week will be something of a refresher for Platoon Movement.

I think on overall the whole ASLC seems to be full of malays and PR citizens. Didn't really bother to survey, but so far i can only confirm 3 chinese guys who are singaporeans in ASLC (That be Patrick, Steven and me). Hmm... What exactly CMPB is trying to play at? i do not know. all the other guys in BSLC who pass out and went into Units seems to be S'poreans and those left over to ASLC seems to be malays and PRs. Oh well. Don't Know, Don't Care, Don't Bother.

Enough bout my adventures in the restricted zone, yesterday booked out, had a little dilemma. To rush down as i planned for IGuides? or to join Patrick, steven and Wafi to the CREATIVE Fair that was happening in Jurong East. So tempting the idea of going down to see the latest toys and MP3 (i still want a MP3 with bigger storage!). in the end? i stuck to my original plan and headed back to TP.

Loved the spirit in the IGuides this yr. Either i was too busy to notice it last yr, or it wasn't even there. Who-Cares? haha my days as the President are over. and the show is now ran by other ppl who are learning to become capable and independent leaders. some of them are alreaedy there (self-sacrifice, Responsible, and other gd traits), others are nearly there i can tell. :D just feels so good to find the sense of belonging with a group of Friends again.

2005-12-04T11:59:00.000+08:00

Pasir Laba Camp (PLC) is such a new camp that its not even completed and we've already moved in. Looks like i'm going to be coped up inside the armskote again. Weapons here, there, everywhere! Argh! the oil, the late breakfasts, and less admin time... sighz

After a nice long nap on the mrt ride home from Boon Lay to Tampines, i went back down to TP after refreshing myself at home. I-Guides! it's that time of yr again. so exciting! seeing all the girls (i mean people) and the wonderful spirit of enjoying themselves. Makes me feel young again. but i know that is not to be. Things have changed, No longer am i noticed, No longer am i known. but thats what bothered me! haha noone KNOWS ME anymore! Once prominent, now forgotten. i've become but a page of history in an on-going book of adventures and mishaps in TP IG. haha

Going back into campy laters in the evening. going to book in early to find some places in that huge labyrinth. haha, next week got WS3 for I-guides! wish i could make it out earlier to go for it... now what are the chances of that happening? never? haha

Yst i was just wondering why i think i'm so expensive. haha. i was carrying a CamelBak ($100+), Oakley Juliets ($500+), Handphone and Bluetooth headset ($400+), Adidas shoes ($$100+), Creative Mp3 ($300+) Wow! i've already Chalked up $1.5k+ and i haven't even started on the clothes i was wearing. haha i sudenly realise i'm like some kind of walking Vain Pot. haha, expensive life i lead.

2005-11-30T16:59:00.000+08:00

it's going to be christmas time again! haha, used to be really hyped out about this biggie event where ppl meet up, dressed up and partied till the cows go out.and wake up only when its time for the cows to come home. haha. i think this yr it can't happen that brilliant way anymore. in fact i'm not even sure what life holds ahead for me next week needless to say in a months time. wish that give like a whole week off. haha, Christmas till after New Yr. haha dreaming dreaming

Come friday morning, i'll be reporting in for my ASLC course and it'll be time for training to begin again. it was a really enjoyable 2weeks where we were really slack and bummed our time away in camp. This time the course will be held at pasir lebah camp where its like really really far from home. there's going to be alot of journey time... and worst part is the intructors mentioned that pasir lebah camp is really strict with security, means no camera phones and worst of all? no MP3 Players!!! how then can i pass my time while travelling to and fro SISPEC?! Argh!!! only time will tell... Luckily i already invested in a non-cam phone during the start of BSLC. so the cam phone part is settled.

Going to receive my Green Beret. haha, so exciting! seasoning it under all my books now. Hope i season it properly. haha i've seen some pretty ugly images of ppl who wore unseasoned berets! Ugh.... haha. Image conscious in army, what-ever-for? i'm wondering myself.

2005-11-28T08:43:00.000+08:00

finally a corporal. the last weeks of BSLC was really relaxed. most of the days were spent stoning and waiting for things to happen. the rainy season also gave us some pretty long breaks where we'd wait in bunk for the "cat1" to lift.

Christmas is approaching! and at a very fast rate. haven't began shopping for my own things much less other ppl's. haha, christmas is the so called season for giving and receiving. 20 times of christmas i've witnessed and each and every one of them i've always enjoyed taking more than giving. HAHA, why i save so much $$ also i can't explain.

Hmm... i used to despise those ppl who only come to church during christmas and never be seen on normal sundays again. and now i have grown into something that i hated. why has this been happening? because i have and still am losing faith in this religion. lost the "family" touch and feeling it used to have. recognition, seems so impt to me.

2005-11-20T13:56:00.000+08:00

went out with the usual suspects the pass few days of "freedom", saw some old friends here and there while i was displaying myself in public so that ppl don't forget that i'm still alive. feels great to go window shopping again. haha, i've been walking arnd looking at long sleeve shirts i could get for christmas. few of the choices i've gathered so far are pierre cardin, thomas smith, timberland. think i'll get the one from timder's since i don't have any of their clothing line as of yet.

26Dec, pandora's entertainment throwing a party @ Gotham's Penthouse. My Guards buddy birthday party happening on 26Dec already agreed to go down after we book out to party at his place. My BEST bud Ashley since days of church also throwing a party on the 26, which i deffinitely will show up. so how? 3 events in one night. HAHA, suddenly feeling so wanted again. after days of solitism hiding on this island on tekong. thought i was forgotten by all since i don't get much SMS from human beings. :D

Feels great to be home. feels great to be earning money. feels even better to be spending it wisely. i love my 19"LCD monitor. haha, its big enough for blind ppl like me to view. now next stop for toys to get would be to sheares tech where they supply gd quality overseas military equipment and knives. oh yeah...

going to pass out as a corporal. see my BSLC buddy going to OCS. see my Scout senior in Pilot program. see my BMT sect mate in OCS... makes me want to be an officer. haha, once again hagging bout the same twisty problems in my life. wanting the best but not good enough to get them.

2005-11-19T17:27:00.000+08:00

zoom zoom zoom, 2weeks of confinement is over, again... haha. infact, its so fast paced that hey, i'm going to pass out as a corporal next week already. Cheers! another 3mths later and i'd be a sergeant going for GUARDS conversion. and then... and then i'll be what i wanted to become. a GUARDSMEN.

Ex. nutcracker the defensive exercise where SISPEC ppl learn to dig holes. haha, spent bout 1.5 nights digging on 2 stupid holes, a shell scrape and a fire trench. dug finish the holes only to be told to cover them upas it was time to pack up and go home. hell, no one completed. me and my buddy's "grave" was one of the more complete ones. haha

COC Parade was a one day affair where we relaxed one corner and chilled out from the nutcracker and prepared for grandslam. it was a complete waste of time as we watched the outgoing CO leave and the new one arrive. i was tasked to stand by the road side to wave gd bye and clap hello. haha! calafarre. but hey, all thanks to these retarded things, my next exercise was cut one day short! from 3D2N reduced to 2D1N. HAPPY! haha

grandslam was just carrying out missions for 2 days. doing harbouring where i laid down in prone position and slpt my time away.they picked a wonderful sport for me where i was far far away from any of the commanders, meaning free and easy sleeping. haha no one to come over and disturb me or check if i was awake and watching the front. haha during the missions once again i felt the frustration when a "leader" does not know how to navigate and got us lost. back tracking and walking additional distances was deffinitely not on my "want-to-do" list. oh well, shit happens.

live firing was the last obstacle to face charlie coy before we could all book out and say sayonara to tekong and head back to S'pore. i spent more time wating then doing anything... as usual SAF policy applies, rush to wait, wait to rush. got back to company line at 3am in the morning, cleaned rifle till 4.30 and rushed to pack up and book out by 7! WOOT! and here i am back on the bigger island.

my buddy was chosen to be one of the 2 running candidates for Platoon Best and a chance to cross over to OCS. i belief he truely has the qualities of being a good officer. the other guy? the ultimate WAYANG KING. haha and he got in. well i must say he has some good abilities, but hey at the rate he WAYANGS? haha i didn't really like him. he so enjoys trying to lead us and when given the slightest power, he'll greatly enjoy abusing it to show off to the commanders he can get things done at the expense of shouting at us, making empty promises to try to motivate us and all the other shit. haha.

seriously? of course i feel jealousy inside and maybe even show it outside. i'd really like to cross over to OCS. but too bad. i'm not allowed to. maybe my chance would truely come one day... maybe... one day... hahaha step by step then. ONE MORE WEEK TO CORPORAL RANK!

2005-11-05T16:37:00.000+08:00

Booked out again today! was so looking forward to this book out thru the 2days in camp only to be hit by a bomb-shell this morning. my happiness was short-lived with the announcement of being on guard duty on sunday. haha!

that means i gotta go back to camp to slp tonight, go on duty 24hrs tmr. and that would be followed by "assessment" exercises! i would n't be booking out again for 2weeks... haha, this is the kind of life i signed up for. always ready... ready to strike! hahahaha.

btw, i love my 19" LCD monitor. haha it makes viewing DVD's and movies so much more enjoyable. haha, of course... when u spend like $500? u'd expect that kind of satisfaction to be achieved.

At this young age, i'm already starting to understand why elders always tell young ones that earning money isn't everything... how true. what point would it have to earn to much money yet not be able to enjoy it. like me! haha, so ok, i bought new toys but i don't get much time to play with them. feelings really crappy. the saying "so near yet so far" doens't really apply... it's more like "i'm there, yet it's so far away."

HAHA, ok ok. going to make the best of my time and go play with my guitar. oh how i miss playing with it. how i miss the band i was with. the late nights we have spent jamming... eating at the "kopi-tiam" and not to mention partying at each others house. drinking dead drunk!

2005-11-02T23:08:00.000+08:00

my hrs are numbererd... days zoomed by and now i have less than 24hrs to enjoy freedom before i'm hulled back to that island.

i wouldn't say i've wasted my time this holiday as i've kept myself busy doing productive things. met up with a number of my goodie friends, but still not all... timings always clash... when i'm free, others might not be.

Blew $515 to buy a new 19"LCD screen and a 16X DVD ROM. all to add entertainment value to my computer. i realised that i wanted a bigger screen on the sat night when i first came out. Muahaha! it feels so good to have the spending power. now i'm juz trying to console myself that it was money well spent... Yeah right...

Btw, i'm a still dreaming bout an mp3 player... y i decided to splurge on a LCD rather than that trendy IPOD? because i weighed the odds of how much entertainment value it can put into my life and i realised... when i book out i stayed home and watched DVD's more than go out on the streets listening to MP3.

All in all? i think all these are luxury items which i could actually do without. haha, but then again, i only live a 20yr old life once. :D

2005-10-30T10:12:00.000+08:00

long holiday for me to look forward to... 5days of break from island life. hey, i need a break that badly ok, was stranded there for 2weeks str without coming out as there was training planned for us.

was a really rushed 2weeks and well... i think things will only get worst and not any better. highlght of the first week was the live demolitions i played with. fired M203 40mm and the sub-caliber Matadhors. and as i was one of the higher scorers for demolitions test, i also got the chance to waste a bagalore torpedo. The effect and feeling of blowing that up was GREAT! only 8 of us got the chance to ignite it in our company. and i'm one !!!

2nd week was full of section movements but the special day of that week no doubtly was the Exercise Wanderer, were SISPEC trainees wander off and get lost. hahaha. Trudged arnd in knee high mud, step and got pined by a rusty nail... managed to find all except one of the checkpoints.

frustration also starting to set in... i'm starting to become easily irritated and it doesn't make things any better when some of my section mates don't perform up to standard during section movements where we run arnd charging at unseen enemies. i think i'm starting to become drained and dried up like a twig and the slightest pressure applied on it now would jus cause me to snap.

Things that were making me feel uneasy would be the camou-cream, dirty clothes, tiredness, frustration of having to re-do activities when someone screws up, probably also lack of sleep. haha.

My DVD player on my comp is starting to go crazy, it was a really old reader anyways... it only reads the DVD's that i insert when it feels like it. and when it doesn't feel like it? it just refuses to read the damn disk. haha, maybe it's time for me to get a new DVD player? i also feel its time to re-format my comp... but it's going to be so troublesom... oh well maybe i'll pick a day and start doing it.

2005-10-16T09:16:00.000+08:00

Going to be confined this coming week, which means no booking out. schedule does not permit us, Charlie Coy, to get any time off... we got stuff planed for us packed to the max. from SAW and SAR21 live firing to Claymore and Bangalore live firing. hehe, and i get to be one of those firing the bangalore torpedo as i got high marks for its theory tests. so exciting! going to blow apart some concertina wires! woot. haha.

this coming week we're also gonna learn bout section movement. our platoon seems to be leading the way in terms of OOC ppl(Out Of Course). think we've chalked out bout 4 OOC and counting. haha, if we keep this up, we possibly could have a proper section of 7men instead of the current 10 we use while training.

knees feeling better after consuming those wonder GNC product for joint supplement. now looking at their wode vvariety for multi vitamins. haha SAF cookhouse is the last place i would look for for a nutritious meal. they overload u on carbohydrates and lack protein and veg...

Thinking of getting running shoes to protect my legs, but then again... i have like too many pairs of shoes? a black adidas, a adidas climacool, 2pairs of SAF issues... and all i have is a pair of feet. haha, reminds me just like of my oakleys... 4pairs of oakleys and all i have is a pair of malfunctioning eyes... haha

Why do i waste my money this way? oh yeah, coz it makes me feel happy. hahahaha

2005-10-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

Quick quick quick come to an end! haha Argh... daily routine is starting to slip into my life again. everyday wake up same day, excercise then go lect. Same shit, different day.

Navigation, the one thing that i think ALL commanders should have. first set my mind on that rule after watching "band of brothers" during one of their training missions, their LTA totally got the section lost. "Bring me the map! Why is there a fence here? there is no fence here on the map" haha, SAF term: "Hol-Lan" had fun learning the lessons... although the first few ppl giving the lesson has no idea what he's talking about... the praticals were fun. walking through the wooded areas, bashing thru loose growth and finding checkpoints. the night navi was even "high!" haha, couldn't make out Jack what was infront of me half the time. managed to get all the checkpoints spot on though. haha, now having thoughts of trying to go to Guards BRC. haha recce sounds like something fun.

My PC and sect comm told me that since i've signed on the dotted line, theres no way i can cross over. oh well, i'll still try my best and hope he tries to write a good recomendation then maybe cross over. haha, after seeing the sergeants in BMT being sandwiched between 2 parties... i want to be at the top... but i Deffinitely still want to be Guards. if i can be an officer but not Guards... i might turn that offer down. call me mad. oh well, until i come across that path with the choice to make, i'm stuck being the back-bone of SAF, or so we specs like to call it.

2005-10-02T17:35:00.000+08:00

back from SISPEC... 2weeks down, 9more to go? till the end of BSLC. another 11weeks for ASLC and finally GCC! haha, after that i think things should slacken abit? feeling rather strained already as it is.

Knees still giving off this uncomfortable feeling. bought knee guard and joint supplements over the weekend. hope they'll heal before i rapture them totally. haha.

Somehow i'm getting this feeling that a particular sergeant doesn't really like me. haha, maybe i'm being over-sensitive. but from where i stand he seems to be always eyeing me with those "i have my eye on you" look. haha, then again maybe i'm really below his standards that's why he's trying to buck me up by constantly correcting me?

difference between training schedule in BMT and SISPEC is that there are more strainous activities in a day. and most of the time we're wearing long 4 with SBO. the weathers been blistering these few days and it doesn't seem to want to get any better. basically the whole package training has been killer! haha, never have i counted down the weeks in BMT. now i seem to be REALLY looking forward for all these trainings to end. (The grass always seems greener on the other side.)

2005-09-25T11:36:00.000+08:00

first weekend out of SISPEC! so many things has happened over the week i can't even recall exactly what. haha, monday reported to SISPEC to begin on my journey to being a sergeant. Charlie company, Platoon 2, section 2, bed 08. most likely going to stay there for another 5mths or so till i get my 3SG rank and move on finally to Guards to go through GuardsConversionCourse.

No camera phones allowed... going to have to go shopping for a non-cam phone, its so difficult to find a non-cam phone which has the features i'd like to have e.g bluetooth, FM radio, and the works. so far only Nokia 6021 meets the most criterias.

terrified of bird-shit. SISPEC is over-loaded with flying bombers parking on roof tops and firing at our windows and clothes line. that means it's risky business washing clothes and hanging them out to dry.

Getting along fine with all my section ppl, oh yeah, there's ladies in my company! haha no chance to talk to them much though. different platoon. but i guess its considered as a welcoming sigh to keep me sane and remind me that girls still exist in the world. Isolation on an island full of guys, cut out from the rest of society, cruel cruel cruel. haha, think i communicate so much easier with ladies once i click and flow into the groove.

yesterday met up with a "KC girl/poly friend" for dinner. chatted and laughed our heads off at things which we both could relate to. it very much jerked me back into the world and reminded me how much i miss chatting with females. haha

2005-09-19T06:17:00.000+08:00

ok peeps, it's back to Army life today. no more leave, sharks... haha, was really enjoying the free time, sleeping and enjoying the small things in life when freedom comes in abundance. oh well, now is to move on with the next phase of training. SISPEC, excited and all the same unhappy to leave S'pore mainland. haha

Sometimes it's just so difficult to get all your old friends to gather and meet up. what used to be routine sessions have fallen apart, and everyone has now a new path for them to throd down and the great times we've had are just memories waiting to be forgotten. move on with life can i not? haha, cherish only what u have lost is a common problem with humans. only after losing the things they hold greatly dear do they realise how much more they could have done if they put in that more effort.

ok, time to stop bitching and time to get off my comfy chair, leave behind my comfy bed, carry my duffel bag and walk out the door towards unknowns.

2005-09-12T19:15:00.000+08:00

Juz got back from sentosa. rather burnt, but happy that i'm more tan now. i guess, i never liked being yellow skined. and anything that ain't pale yellows good for my image. HAHA

hope that my skin wasn't too damaged and start to peel, then all the effort would go to waste. Weather has been very kind to me. At sentosa when i wanted the sun, sand and sea, they were all there. now that i'm home, tired and sleepy, i have the most excellent weather to rest in. Rain! hehe showers are about as i blog. lightning flashes by now-and-then. Blessed to be under a shelther.

Hairs growing longer, need to go trim it soon again i think. by 16Sep i'd know where i'll be going (SISPEC) and then will need to report there on the 19th. fast approaching those dates are. most likely i'll be going for a run tmr to hype myself up and maintain my weak running standard.

2005-09-11T09:49:00.000+08:00

hey hey, i've changed my blog's image. well actually i'm still in the process of changing it now. hehe. trying out new things and putting back old stuff and pictures together. wonder how this will work out?

going to burn myself at sentosa in awhiles time. gonna have a chalet there with some of the BMT buddies. too bad its a sunday... where are the babes at? think either sleeping or in church. haha

Last night went out for dinner and pick up my new spectacles. after that has been settled, i didn't feel like heading home, so went to the park to take a stroll and ended up in church. things have changed on the surface alone. the gates are different, the shuttles on the glass doors are down at 8pm! so it told me that the internals have not changed. they're still chasing ppl away from the holy ground after dark. haha, thought thats the time when ppl seek safe zones. oh well, who am i to judge whats right whats wrong.

2005-09-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

P.O.P already! woot! now i'm officially a Private! and now its the blk leave period! whee... means got slightly more free time to do what i wanna do. Sleep at home, go shopping centre walk walk see girls. hehe, look look look, cannot touch. now's not the time... although my heart seems to be telling me otherwise.

At the graduation parade so many girlfriends came down to dawn the Jockey Cap for their BF recruits, once again, feeling green with envy. haha, but hey hey theres no one on earth i can possibly blame bout these feelings except Francis, because he's the one thats holding it back. never meet girls, never flirt, never chase girls, how does he expect to get GF that way? haha, then again, maybe one will fall from the skies into my lap one day while i'm sitting at home. HAHA, now... how the heck is that supposed to happen.

my PC filled up some form for me. i guess if i hadn't alreadtyy signed on in SAF, that form alone should be enough to warrant me an entry into OCS. (got a glimpse of it something for "Officer Review Board") he was telling me its for recruits he thinks can make it into OCS. HAPPY! thru the week i was rather down actually coz i wasn't the best. i'd always aimed to achieve the best in alot of things i do. (Not company best, not best PT, not best shot, not even best platoon). Felt like crap, even the that sergt went arnd praising other recruits that weren't "best" for their efforts didn't mention me... down in the dumps, until the last PC interview! Woot!

as i was exiting the ferry terminal as a PTE for the first time, i saw a Guards Warrant Officer. Warrant Ng, he used to be in 1Guards as their RSM. spoke to him, found out he still remembered me from our 1 meeting 3yrs back and that he was no longer 1Guards RSM and was moving on into Leopard company, think he's going there as an "encik" for the company. whoever gets him will be damn lucky man. that guys like cool in his own way. haha

Officer or not to Officer. 16Sept we shall find out. even if i don't get offered the chance this rnd, there's still BSLC. Will be fighting hard for a better life. hmm... will it really be better if i cross over i wonder...

2005-08-28T08:56:00.000+08:00

1+ week to P.O.P!!! leaving BMT soon. can't wait to proceed on with my route and training. will it be the predestined road to warrant officer? or can i pave a new path for myself into becoming an officer. as a spec, i deffinitely will become GUARDS. if i cross over... i possibly might be thrown into any other unit. so the question comes back down to GUARDS or officer. but its not really my decision to make, the choice of whether or not i can become an officer is relatively out of my hands.

OC mentioned that under BMT, if u're company best or maybe platoon best, OCS wouldn't turn you down. after analysing the other members in my platoon alone, i doubt i'd cut the mark to be the best already. haha, i might still stand a fighting chance if i can get gold for my IPPT. my 2.4 timing is the one holding me out on my officer route. haha, 10:34. need 9:44.

Games day coming up soon. i'm taking part in 2 events. hehe drill comp and tug-of-war. its diff to juggle 2 things at the same time, most of the time they have the training run concurrently. so i'd be faced to make a choice. i hope that neither of the teams would suffer due to me skipping out on training sessions.

left knee started to feel strange after the 16km route march. will it heal? will the condition worsen? this only time can tell...

2005-08-21T13:02:00.000+08:00

surprises are fun yet when it affects you in certain ways. i just came back from SIT test, and i had 12hrs notice before i set out. haha, always ready ready to strike. why was i only told so late?
last week before our bookout, the regulars were informed that we are not going for the SIT test (orders from up-stairs they said). felt like crap, haha, was so looking forward to going for another out-field and a chance to perform and hope of going OCS. those were dashed when the announcement came "Regulars not going" CRAP!~

So i started making plans for a relaxed 3days while the others were out running arnd. cookie session in bunk, sms'ing and staying in touch with friends, and stuff like that. 12hrs before the company set out for SIT test, "selected regulars must go" and i was selected! Damn! there goes my free time... then felt like crap again! hahaha

BTW! Mon and Tue was live firing. the rifle computer calibration is crap! haha it so off. aim at the centre, always hits the same spot top left. so i manually calibrated the rifle myself. and it got better.but overall my marks for the shots are just pass grades, 23out of 32. hehe prone unsupported position is so diff to fire from.

SIT test, started off with the 12km route march. then lessons and that was the end for day1. day2 consisted of 6missions, i had a DJ for an assesor!!! POWER98 DJ LTA Sebastion. how cool is that? he came up with a rule "anyone who spoke a word of non-english had to drop 20" i suddenly felt so at home when that rule was set down. the language spoken was so comfortable once more, no need to stress over trying to figure out chinese words!!! hahaha, day2 was another officer taking our detail. this time this guy juz wanted to get things done and over with. he didn't even give us a chance to come up with a solution. he juz gave it to us and forced us to follow...haha, but that was great in its way too! finished "chop chop" and headed back before the rain poured out of the skies. Woot!

2005-08-09T13:26:00.000+08:00

today is national day. haha, but i wun get to see the fireworks this yr. going back into tekong resort at 1945 later. haha

these days coming back to singapore means catching up with friends as much as i can. taking turns so that none of them feel too left out. haha, gimme a break pls i only got 24hrs out each week. haha and i probably spent half of it sleeping. so i meet up with 1-2 grps each weekend. haha

other thing i spend time doing is hacking at the keyboards infront of my comp. check mail, check friendster, listen to music, read up on the latest thingies online and such

haha the minds still wondering about alot of toys even though i can't bring any of those things into tekong. haha, miss my oakleys, miss my car... want a SOG knife, want a 20gig mp3 player, want a bluetooth handsfree, want a new phone... haha so many many wants, none of them qualifying as a need

2005-08-07T12:57:00.000+08:00

I'm ALIVE! haha field camp juz ended. insect bitten are the scars i have to show for this GREAT week out in the lush lands of Tekong. haha

Day1
Route march to rubber plantation. first time doing route march and it was straight away a 8km one. felt so High sia! set up shelther and got tekan. haha

Day2
Nothing much went down on this day. the same kind of torture. learnt and was tested on some skills on identifying enemy targets and their range as well as simple surveillance.

Day3
March to oil palms. Technical break! quick shower and hot food.

Day4
Got to re-set up the shelther twice... tekan session!

Day5
Movement drills for qrp and section. cover Immediate Assault, Fire and Movement and Flanking exercises. also learnt how to get pass danger areas such as cross roads.

Day6
Morning march from oil palms to reclaimed land to set up the shell scrap. the walk was tiring... Full Battle Order... then dig dig dig hole to snuggle up and sleep in during the night. that place is FULL of insects man... and they attack without me knowing... only realised how bitten i was after looking at my hands to see the itch marks. insect repellent juz doesn't keep those blood hungry creepies from my sweet saviour blood. haha

Day7
Morning 4am had a rude wake up call with artillery bombartments. haha was sleeping like a log before the shells fell and had to put on FBO the moment arti lifted. then got tekan for 2hrs till day broke. Grp movement test was a breeze, BIC left sand abrations and sandy clothings. haha and that was it! the end of Field camp! Bunk sweet Bunk here we come.

2005-07-23T08:06:00.000+08:00

Back from the so-called first 2weeks adjustment period. this is my first official book out, once i book back in it'd be another 2weeks without seeing singapura all over again. did i get confinement because i screwed up u might ask? not really... haha, the next 2weeks can't come out is due to field camp. but truth be told? i think i AM going to have to sign extra. haha, just waiting for the sergt to recommend to the PC coz i did something wrong. oh well, think i'll play it low-key now onwards. If he dun mention it, i wouldn't go ask him when i kena. haha

Booking back in on sunday night. now i'm trying to catch up with lost time on my comp and friends. haha, life was great when freedom was all over the place. life is still ok even if it's regimental. well... for the first 2weeks at least. haha, excited over field camp. wonder what kind of stupid things we going to be doing and how we going to enjoy ourselves. haha

2005-07-16T06:15:00.000+08:00

Managed to escape from tekong island resort. had a hard and rough time crossing the sea back to Singapura. haha and i did it during my confinement week! i love Temasek Poly. thank u for holding my grad ceremony on fri. haha, too bad as i type i'm also packing my stuff to book back into the resort.

hehe take care peeps! i'll see u arnd. once again... pls sms me when u're free. makes me feel happy to on my phone and see a flood of sms from friends. hahahaha

2005-07-08T00:53:00.000+08:00

This should be the last posting i'll be doing for some time to come.

Time is now 12.54am, in another 14hrs i'll be on the boat across to tekong. Where i'll be going away to hide for the next 3mths. though in between i'll be back i'm afraid i'll be lying in bed half that time recovering.

mix of emotions. worried over things. minds a mess. that's why i'm still awake at this unearthly hour blogging.

Everything will be alright! Smile, everyday is a sundy. there is always tmr.

anything sms me! i'll try to reply ASAP. i know i'll be missing u guys inside.

2005-06-29T21:50:00.000+08:00

Too little things have been happening in my life worth blogging. soon i'll have too many things to blog about but u still wouldn't see me updating my blog regularly as by that time? i'd have too little time to spend on a comp much less internet. and even less blog.

Haha, it's a little island off the main shores of Singapura called Tekong Resort. going there on a holiday. might end up over staying the welcome and be there for 9mths? before i come back perm to Singapura.

Going to miss ALL my toys(Oakleys, Nissan Presea, Computer, Guitar, stuffed toys), Friends, BED+Air-Con! haha i seriously think that'd be the main think i'll miss if the weather holds up like that when i enter. excruciatingly HOT! *sizzle*

haha, hope i dun injure my body during training. i doubt it do me any good, and ALOT of bad. haha, juz wish i'd realise it's time for me to raise the white flag when my body breaks down and not AFTER. haha, i've always had this head-strong psychopath mentality. I WILL GET WHAT I WANT! (unless my mind tells me i no longer want them... haha)

2005-06-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

I was asked this question in camp today: "When's your turn to get a gf?" haha if it was that easy for me to get one would i have chosen to walk this path alone and "unloved". hehe, well well then again to console myself oh so often i've been in self-denial that girls are nothing but trouble.

Quote:"U never listen to my advice... women are nothing but trouble... Stay away from them... Evil things they are" hahaha

I'm nothing but a sensitive emotionally unstable creature. everything is a possible fear for me. i don't venture out to try things that i am not sure if i can succeed at it. if i know i'll lose, most of the time i don't even try then. i love having straight wins on my records. hmm... then again i wonder why my acad grades are so crappy. ah... maybe they're entirely different hehe.

Another problem is that i expect too much out of a girl. there are girls who've approached me, hint or str up. but somehow... just no feelings... hehe, afraid to try.

Weak i was, Weak i shall remain to be
Till the hr comes forth to take away my fears.
To lose everything is to have the chance to gain everything.

2005-06-22T06:04:00.000+08:00

Yst weather was absolutely marvelous. no blazing sun nor excruciating hot air. which i believe helped to shorten my 5km run timing to 27.30! the other factor would deff be because steven was running with me. he kept egging me on and seemed to know when i wanted to stop and motivated me to go on just before my tyre ran flat.

today i'm on office duty again. wonder what time it'll end this time rnd. last one was a "chop chop" one and i could go home 30min later than usual. hehe. thur i think i would try running in the stadium tracks to see if my 2.4 has improved? haha

My push ups at the current i've managed to do 3sets of 20 with 1min intervals. i want 100 at one shot again! felt so weak when i couldn't even do 50... Argh!

2005-06-16T21:43:00.000+08:00

Last night went over to Debbie's Chalet/Party. drink up drink up. X.O and whiskey, good choices. haha, had 3cups of X.O and i was dozing off to slp as usual. have to stop this smoking and drink binge when i'm not doing so well in my life. ambitious plans i have, nothing i can do to achieve them at the same time. how am i to go on lying to myself that i'll be happy being a sergt? when the sky is Officers? Body is weak, Mind is soft, Attitude is rotten. If those are the traits of an officer, then i'm deff in. But, they're NOT! haha

today camp had a "change of command" parade. so was adviced against driving to camp. very well, take the public transport as i did before i owned a car. no big deal. so i thought... the wait for bus, the squizzing, the spoilt air-con was the bad points. on the gd side? i get to bump into loads of friends. haha, i'm blessed to have many ppl who make my day happy by reminding me i'm not forgotten. but still! i miss my car, even though it's just one day... when you're tired from a long day at work, u just JUST wanna get home and chill. haha

2005-06-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

yst went out in the afternoon with leslie. makan! haha ate minced meat noodles. the best in s'pore! haha lavender mrt station close by. the noodles had a unique tang to it, the ingredients used were truely top of their line. but the down side for all the good stuff? a bowl cost $5 and a hefty 45min wait. haha but it was all worth it from the first strand to its last.

next up was a short walk over to beach rd army mkt to look see look see. jalan jalan over to arab street. had a iced mint tea and a smoke of sesha. love the tobacco taste that lingers in the mouth and nose. haha, oops! sat there for a long long time before moving to our main attraction for the day. sheares technology shop, it's a place for boys to buy man toys. haha they sell military equipment as well as knives. knives range from kabar, SOG, Al Mar, Ocean Masters and many many more! woot!!! so tempting man! $130+- for one i'm interested in. haha i WANT!!!

Another toy i'd really like to have would be a bluetooth handsfree for my phone. cost is about $105. but then i'm battling to try to convince myself i don't need it. haha what good would bluetooth do me? i dun even chat much on the phone. i think its just the lure of gadgets i have. same goes to the SOG knive i'm dying to lay my hands on.

on a better note? i think i might go do up my cars sound system. maybe change the HU and speakers. that should set me back by about $500? haha all the things i want are all so pricey... and every other mth i just one something else. haha how to save money like that?!

Well well, BMT's coming. hope i can save abit more money while i'm stuck on that island. *crosses fingers*

2005-06-09T06:16:00.000+08:00

Yo Yoz! 28:39 for 5km. keep going down down down... haha, but i think my body still not conditioned yet. left knee and right ankle giving me the jimmies again. creak creak creak, feels like a lousy maintained hinge. haha

1more mth to BMT! can't wait! yst checked out the payslip as suggested by ppl in the office. haha not to the mark i was looking for man... felt cheated of close to 1k? hahaha, but i was reassured by patrick who called to check with finance. back paid ltr when confirm i have diploma. but haven't i already send my "congratulation u have achieved diploma" letter to that kuku kenneth? oh well...

7jun attended a wedding anniversary. their 25th yr together. haah happening party man. driinks, dancing, eurasian girls. hahaha even the 40-50 yr olds were like drinking to the max man. haha since i had to work the next day, i chose to drive there (excuse not to drink) haha, those guys can be quite pursuasive. haah PARTY!

2005-06-06T20:13:00.000+08:00

Hey hey! Shag? Shag. SHAG!!! haha, fri early morning went to work. then str away went back to st pat's after army. it's that time of the yr again. PLTC!!! Katong District. haha, for those who are lost? PLTC is a scouts camp which trains boys to be future patrol leaders.

Was rather lost when i arrived as no role was given to me due to the fact i couldn't commit, i didn't know when i was entering tekong back then when planning was in progress. by the first night, i was their asst. sub camp chief. then somehow or rather, i became a driver. hahahaha! drove a van for the first time. was great man. easier to drive and est turning. bottom line? was an thrilling experience.

Tired as hell, clocked bout 250km within the first 24hrs. haha, so cool vroom vroom vroom. haha. mon morning when i finally drove my darling again... i nearly forgotten how to drive her... van i half-clutch it moves already, my presea i still have to step acce else it dies. coming to comfort and speed? haha presea out-classes the van anytime.

No more despatch for me now. haha so cool! now to fight fatigue and falling aslp during office hrs. haha.

2005-06-02T20:35:00.000+08:00

today was rather a lazy day for me. first day doing office duty. for once since a long time i got to stay in office! woot! but i also miss the great time i have spent on the rds doing desptach. trying to appreciate both jobs. Reminder: "If u love your job, u'll never have to work another day" hehe WONDERFUL!

This morning witnessed my first accident on the rd up close. was driving to work, then a taxi bumped into another. wah nearly cut into my lane while i was at 60km/hr, immediately i was fully awake. haha, *snap* juz like that, the droziness of mornings flee away.

Tmr comes the closing of another week. going to spend the weekend with my boys... shit my uniform haven't iron yet... crap. Scouts having PLTC at my sch, fri to mon. going to drop by after work tmr and go to work mon morn? hahaha see my mood how.

2005-05-31T23:03:00.000+08:00

5km in under 30min has been achieved! now to constantly train that till it drops below 25? haha, think if i can drop it below 25 i can do my 2.4 under 11mins also. wishing and hoping. haha

Things are starting to ease up with my life, now starting to get invitations to social events after army hrs. haha and i got my wish! i'm outta the office! first i kept complaining that i dun like desk job and that i like being arnd. i got my wish and never even realised nor cherished it. i get to do desptach! travel arnd! no desk jobs! and to think i was complaining bout it as well. time for me to be happy with job and i wouldn't have to work another day. haha

today walked pass TM for awhile, managed to see so many familiar faces. makes me so happy. haha, i'm remembered! haha. fun fun! Francis is a sicko that likes to have ppl waving and smiling at him. haha

2005-05-29T04:16:00.000+08:00

starting to blog less and less frequent... NO...! haha juz came home from celebrating a good friends birthday! seems like everyone of us have problems, but while it lasted, we enjoyed the party and put aside all our problems. work, relationship, money, and all the small things of life.

Miss the good old days, when everything was so smooth. esp, st stephen and st pat's days. ppl then juz didn't bother to take life seriously, and never bothered bout back stabbing or making use of ppl. everything was so much simpler and days went by Happy. haha, now those days are gone. since entering poly, i hear and get involved in so much of the "i dun like u, u dun like me" situations. is this the world i have to live in? haha, why can't everyone juz like everyone else? to change the world, i'll have to change myself first. i have to learn to be more neutral bout things and stop losing my temper.

My lovely, beloved Car... u seem to be giving me problems. u function well as my transportation, but dude, u attract too much attention. now u have dragged me down since i got u. i'm now obligated? to chauffer ppl arnd. it has then become my Duty? to. i got u for my selfish personal convenience, now it has become a convenience to others and a burden to me. financially and time. my personality changes when u're involved. " don't touch MY Window!" "Don't slam my door!" Don't this, don't that" "no, it's out of the way." where has the easy going guy ppl once knew called Francis disappeared to? i hope he returns.

2005-05-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

it's back to work again today. early morning must drag myself out of bed to come camp. spent the whole day doing despatch work again. went dieppe barracks, nee soon camp, Gombak camp, Pasir Lebar camp and CMPB. stone in the van boy... maybe i should find something to do while wasting life away in the vehicle all day long. haha

due to the despatch, missed going for the run in camp again! so to make up for it, i went to the park at my house to run. pushed myself to go faster for longer, tried to con myself into opening up my legs right from the start. legs moved like crazy, but ultimately it was my lungs that died near the end of the run. as usuall. then went to cool down and do pull ups. saw the cute girl again! ran with her 2rnds before i decided my lungs are collasping and i needed to stop. haha, sprinted home though. contradicting? it's just me.

2005-05-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Watched 2movies over the weekend. kingdom of heaven with ashley and pam, & Star Wars III with Kenneth, Sebast, Ell and Kristine. Kingdom of heaven needs u to be abit more knowledgable bout the christian faith or u might get lost in certain parts of the movie where things are refered to. Come to think of it... Star Wars III also requires u to have watched the previous epsiodes and even the cartoon "Clone Wars" for one to fully understand

Went drinking with the old band. ROCK on dudes. haha hope i can come out jam with u guys again. really miss the good old days when we had the studio. everyweek we'd be there making music, if not sitting at the kopi tiam drink baron's. haha

Juz had a long chat with mum. haha, tried to explain to her whats going on in my life, on my mind. i think i'd rather not post those thoughts up here. haha too long... all the funny philosophies i have conspired up.

i think i shall set aims in my financial life. 1yr Goal, Save up $10,000. make wise financial decision to increase my current savings to increase by 10%. hahaha, i think i'm sounding more like a 30yr old man with too much money in his bank acct.

2005-05-19T20:12:00.000+08:00

Shag, today ran 2.4 again. 3 consecutive days of running. muscle seems to be aching, think i should push it gradually further. might feel crazy and go run tmr evening arnd the track again.

speaking of track... haha yst went to run. so sad, cute girl stood me up. she didn't turn up, oh well. what was i expecting? haha. another person to prove Francis is just but someone who is forgettable. haha

Love should not be someone now. the let down would be too much for me to handle. haha i think i'll continue loving my car, Oakleys and Gore-Tex. so far these 3 babies have proven to me they're the best and deserve the best treatment from me. means i gotta use them more often to make them feel happy. sadly... i don't have perfect eye-sight... so wearing my oakleys are proving to be a problem.

I want perfect eye-sight! esp since i've entered Army. glasses might stand in my way from achieving certain objectives... Argh! how i envy ppl who can see without glasses (even more so if they have PERFECT!) Grh.... hahaha, how well... who ask me want to go read story books when i was young.

2005-05-17T20:37:00.000+08:00

Today would be my first "solo" despatch job as the usual guys tied up with another duty. ok lah, get to travel around. but i think seriously need to see what kind of vehicle u riding in. 45503 was like super crapped up. no air-con, no radio, chairs broken haha and the list goes on. then when the vehicle is PACKED with 8 other guys and their stuff... i had to like stand/stoop my way from stagmont camp (yio chu kang?) to Bedok Camp... leg cramp! hahaha, so fun. torturing myself.

Since i missed the exercise timing juz now, decided to go for a run after i got home. coincidentally met this girl at the running track. wah she really got stamina sia, and she still looks as cute as when i had my "crush" on her. haha, so interesting, run and chat. wonder if i was holding her up. hahaha, then she asked me to meet her run again tmr. motivation! y not? so i guess will go run again tmr.

2005-05-16T19:42:00.000+08:00

Hey! i'm back here posting again. hehe got miss me? sure u didn't haha. getting settled down in HQ7SIB S1 Branch. more or less know what i'm going to do? i think so Despatch. not fun one. the vehicle can only travel at top speed of 50km/hr. and some camps are far West... rot in the vehicle, so i decided to take that time to recognise roads and car models. then get to each camp location need to give or take documents, ppl always wonder "Who's this guy in crew cut and wearing civilian?" haha confused most of them, wearing civi they think i DXO or some big shot. then see crew-cut... dun fit their picture. haha

Looking forward to BMT! i promise to do my best, do my duty to God and the Republic of Singapore while i serve the nation for 6yrs, or indefinitely. one way to achieve that would be to be trusted, to be loyal, make friends and establish harmonious relations, be deciplined and considerate, and have courage in all difficulties.

These 5 laws would probably cover the core things expected of a "perfect" person, or so i feel. now all that's left for me to do is to uphold these laws. it ain't easy, that much i can tell u. u might know them by heart, but they jus seem to be chucked aside when strong emotions set in (anger, greed, laziness, , fear, etc etc...)

2005-05-10T22:11:00.000+08:00

hehe today drove my car to work! So complicated just to get my vehicle into the compound. haha had to get out, sign this, sign that, change 11B and get questioned why a recruit can drive to camp. haha, i like attention but i guess not this kind of attention where i'm caught in a situation where i can't really explain myself. haha

yesterday when i took bus back from camp after work, alight at tamp interchange and walked home. along the way, every few steps i stopped to greet and chat with old friends, poly, church, St Pat's... Felt, GREAT! reminded me of the good old days in TP where it took me 30min to walk down a 5min walk business concourse. had to stop to chat with Everyone! Popularity really gives me the kicks and i enjoy being recognised by friends. what would i do without all these hi-bye friends?!

but truth be told, i may have many friends but only handful are close to me. u know who u are! haha. try not to swell your head too much k. juz feel honoured privately ;)

2005-05-07T20:46:00.000+08:00

time creeps by, i consider this 1week in SAF as the fri came to a close. it's actually only been 4days. i could get used to this kind of life, paid to do nothing. and when i say nothing? somehow i really meant it. trying hard not to fall aslp in the office. there's like absolutly NOTHING to do at times. once in awhile i get to do odd jobs like photocopy documents and shred waste paper. best assignment i had so far was to go despatch documents to different units. 5hrs sitting in a vehicle that travels at 50km/hr is one heck of a "stoning" job. haha, but hey, at least i get to travel the rds of singapore FREE! no need to fork out petrol nor worry bout getting lost. haha, lost at the most drive with common sense singapore is so small...

as far as i know, BMT starts sometime in june. that's bout as much as i know. haha, was deliberating between going for PTP or not. guess not since i passed my NAPFA, if i go there... ppl might juz call me crazy. haha, what difference would that make? for i truely am half whacked already anyways.

Monday seriously thinking of driving to work. Since i already have a car, whynot? might as well. only part is ppl asking for a lift and such... well... if that happens, i think i'll charge. and i'll only drive to tamp interchange. hahaha! i rock man! stingy bastard.

Dad brought the car in to have some parts changed, nice of him to top up my fuel tank for me and change the parts in the vehicle. but i wish he'd just understand what i truely want. he's easily satisfied, the kind that's like "has 4wheels and gets u places without problems, it's a good car" haha, but i seem to be more the kind to want a Evo, Integra or Skyline. guess he's just trying to help me save money.

a few years back i'd never have thought i'd fall into this brand hunting mentality. back in the good old days i might really have been happy with what i have now. lately... it's branded things i like. money corrupts. was happier when i had little of it, at least i was contented back then.

2005-05-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

Today was my first day of Army. Why am i still online? why can i still blog? coz i'm different. haha, i get to come home everyday. i get to wear civilian clothing. i get to drive my car to camp if i wanted to. haha, well... i'll be getting this kind of life till i get into tekong. hope it changes for the worst, if not it wouldn't be as fun as i wanted it to be. torture!

Office job is a killer. i pray my body can take the training and never have to downgrade to clerk sia. 6yrs of doing that can die lor. haha, today had a taste of being office boy. slack slack slack. stone stone stone. Steady lah.

2005-04-26T01:09:00.000+08:00

had 12 solid hours of slp thru the night... tired from the camp i guess. tried to drown myself by drinking water to recover my cough. so far... results... not really showing at the moment. maybe by tmr morning it'll go away? seeing a doc is still out of my option i wanna take at the moment. haha

Health... starting to hate my body... fall sick easily, no longer as strong physically as i used to be, eye-sight is still failing me without my precious specs... is there no natural cure out there? going under the knife is a NO NO for me. too much to lose, i dun think it'll measure up should i lose my sight. haha

Confused... scared... 3May is coming up round the corner real soon. this ain't like the rest of what guys go thru... it ain't bout completing 2yrs to move on in life... i could possibly end up in there for life. preasure is on myself to make a good start in this path i've chosen.

2005-04-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

Health Status... still SICK! sick as in sore throat, coughing... and it just doesn't seem to want to go away. waking up in the middle of the night with dry and itchy throat was common... it was tiring and irritating to be sick. who wants to be sick?! NO ONE in their right mind would want to go through this kind of suffering unless they can see a benefit coming from it. (MC from sch/work haha)

Just came back from Venture Leaders Course (VLC) another one of my scout activities. i still find a passion for this grp of ppl. boys i've seen since they entered in sec1. and i'll shamelessly admit that sometimes i actually get a kick from being seen in my uniform. it's just plain but the amount of pride i have when i wear it is tremendous. Pst... it's getting small... trying to see if i should buy a new set? or wait till i settle down in the army and when the new uniform has come into existence.

Learning things that reflect badly about myself lately... would i make changes to my life to better myself? it's simple to say i should... but real question is will there be action following words. i've no longer motivation to do alot of things. i am afraid, afraid of a great many things. this does not bold well for my chosen profession...

Minds still a whirl... army about to start 3May... would i sustain? will i die. Can i make? or will i break? do i want to become an officer or a specialist? WHAT DO I WANT!!! can i please tell myself?!

2005-04-21T18:42:00.000+08:00

Juz came back from the I-Guides chalet, haha it's actually more like organised by a bunch of friends. 3D2N,

first day - went there looking for fellowship and a good time together. outcasted by the uniform they wore, so decided: "this is going to be like the last chalet i shall be attending? why screw it up and be unhappy? Chill, relac only." thus that became my phrase thru out the 3days. went to soak water in the evening and strolled to white sands for dinner. tried desperately to stay awake till food digests, walked by the beach, walked thru the maze, come back tired and slpt. night came, night went.

Day 2/3 - early morn woke up went to buy breakfast. saw an old patrician junior taking driving lesson. so wanted to horn at him with my car, but decided against it. haha, breakfast was ok lah, abit little though. Walked out to downtown east with phyllis to get her dose of tea before heading back. then noon... bored lah. haha stone and soaked water again. all the way till BBQ time. haha everything went uphill after that, Val and Cannon came. talk talk joke joke laugh laugh. Eleanor came soon after, joke and laughed even more. rolling all over the bed and floor in pangs of laughter. laughed and joked thru the night... early morning also still cracking jokes. after that was home for me.

Shagged, tired and confused over the events that happened thru the 3 days. never knew what i wanted, still don't know what i wanted. am i that "Ga Ga" over girls? so much so that every pretty girl that walks by i'd check her out and try to approach them? Desperado. Maybe? Worried bout how life might be once i enter. Thinking bout the dicussions we had bout BGR at the chalet. haha looking back i pretty much can't comprehend the topic, females are sophisticated to males and vice versa. thats the way life ticks.

2005-04-18T09:47:00.000+08:00

The coughing juz doesn't seem to want to go away. haven't slept peacefully the pass 4days now, always waking up in the middle of the night coughing badly. i'm guessing that my throat gets too dry as the night progresses... sighz! i need to start my running training again real soon. 3may going in. when can i start?

Tue going for chalet, looking forward to go there chill and relac by myself. wonder if i can accomplish being lonely. haha i've always wanted to be with the company of people. but this group that i will be going with... well i seem to be feeling outcasted. feeling is horrible, but i pretty much don't have a choice. i tried, they closed their doors on me. so i shall proceed elsewhere. so y even bother going? coz i paid my fair share already. haha u gotta be kidding me if u ask me not to go.

Tried to have a heart to heart talk with my dad, but seems to have failed. he just picked up the newspaper half-way while i was talking. found that such a turn off. if u're not interested to talk can't you just tell me? why must you just look away. starting to think my dad doesn't handle problems very well. he seems to just try to avoid the situation altogether. he doesn't like me drinking, but doesn't confront me. instead he goes to my mum. haha i hate hearing bout things concerning me from a 3rd party. reminds me of the time ppl spread rumours bout me (another story, another time. best forgotten) Argh!!! talk to me if u have a problem.

2005-04-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

Still feeling sick. Cough, sore throat, feverish, headache, muscle aches. today woke up, bum arnd for awhile then went down to sim lim to buy my new hard disk. i needed more space, my current 40Gb running flat. Initially wanted another 40Gb or so... then found out those are extinct. haha so ended up getting 160Gb after deliberating cost/Gb haha trying to be prudent with my money.

my next agenda after getting the hardware was to get new software. was looking forward to getting photoshop to edit photos i took/taking with my Z3 digi cam. but that was thrown out the window when the shop wasn't open. haha, came back set up the stuff then took a nap.

Woke up, dark all arnd. and there is was. government service letter sitting on the desk. duty calls. haha tmr morning must make afew phone calls to confirm that i have received the letter and find out what stuff is required to be done by me. 3May, I'll be embarking on my training. wish me gd luck.

2005-04-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

today is the second day that i woke up at 7am to tell myself to go back to slp and not go for running. i better start again tmr... need to maintain and better my timings. reminder to self: you have long legs, open wider. Breathe with rythme.

Still attempting to clean up my rm. Can't bare to throw things away. thats a problem with me when it comes to spring cleaning. emotionally attached to anything i've touched and used. haha, still remembered last time when i went bowlings after sec sch. always went back to hunt for "my ball" although it was a public ball. haha

Waiting waiting waiting... letter letter, when are u going to come to take me away to the little island? away from all the worldly problems i am/might be facing. haha. run away, run away. seem to be doing quite alot of that these days. running away from problems. got scolded last night by Dad for not using the car. haha my excuse? i didn't know the route to the location. so i juz took bus with the rest. so today i went to buy a new, updated street-directory to save me when i get lost in s'pore. don't belief i said that!

Francis?! getting lost?! in Singapore?! Well... that happens when u drive. it's not as easy as turning arnd and retracing your foot steps. sometimes... a turn arnd can take u 1km away... haha

I think i'm starting my fire burning for scouting again. feels so great to wear the uniform! but it's getting tight and small. should i get new one? or wait till the new set comes out when i'm more settled down in army? 1.5-2yrs time?

2005-04-09T13:30:00.000+08:00

Results were out! i've graduated from TP with a Diploma in Business (HR & Finance). GPA of 2.6, haha thats an avg of C+ for all my subjects. ok lah, not as well as i wanted but it's good enough i've graduated in the stipulated 3yr period. haha, considering the amt of time i spent actually studying, paying attention to lessons and doing tutorials. lecture time i'm physically there (Sleeping) hahaha.

Now i'm going thru my rm to see what i can throw away and burn. if any TP student wants anything from me, now's a good time. while stocks lasts, i have textbooks, notes and exam papers waiting for a new owner, or else... it's to the dumps for them. drop me a msg and i'll see if i have what u want.

I shall find things to do from today onwards. i shall not waste time stoning and slping life away. my new resolution for this mth as i await for my formal letter of invitation into Army (enlistment letter). before i forget, i shall list what i might want to see done this mth. Clean up my rm, do something for scouts (S.O.P, campfire cheers and songs) hmm... i think i shall devote this mth to Pajigwad! haha goodie goodie. Sh'i-Lah is BACK!

2005-04-07T23:51:00.000+08:00

just got back from SL camp! Shag man. Haven't felt this great for such a long time. Haven't been to a camp since... i can't even remember since when... bottom line was for a very long time.

Had the intention to jus go SL and be a normal participant and just enjoy the camp. so didn't attempt to join in any of the sub-comm's... Didn't work the way i planned things to be. from the moment camp started, i just started my bad habbit of taking over things. i found quite a handful of problems with the planning of the camp. which i brought up to the main-comm's... and there i was bluffing myself that i wanted to be a normal SL and enjoy myself jus before the camp...

This led me to think... i've changed. haha i used to just go and enjoy camps. now i'm assessing how the camp can be improved and everything of the background works. Maybe i'm more suited for planning events? rather than participating? so would the taste be the same when i enter Army? will i try to take over the unit/company? i think i'll be shot dead before i succeed.

I am no longer the "garang, gangho chiong Sua" soldier i thought i was cut out to become. Now i look forward to planning stuff, and the backstage things to worry about before events. haha, Being in I-Guides main comm really rubbed me off to the top management style of job. haha

Back to SL camp! haha the games were Heck FUN! The people i met were GREAT! but things could have been better overall. haha, meal after meal of chicken. Whack only.

2005-04-05T00:27:00.000+08:00

hey hey, today i finally decided i shall go for the SL camp. haha my last "fun" camp before i camp and never return for 6yrs. haha, pack bag pack bag.

Went out mass with Leon my long time sec sch buddy. Pope John II departed this world and there was a mass to remember him by. Went down to Holy Fam for the service. felt abit out of place. the seating arrangements... the Songs, the music!!! the music was SO different! i was totally lost most of the time. think i'm too used to the full band set-up to adapt to a organ and choir set-up. Tempo for the songs also drastically slowed. haha, juz not used to it i guess.

watched LOTR 2 towers at Leon's place after church. wah! lovely story. but was too tired to concentrate and stay awake. haha *munch munch* on lays chips. Then drove home and pumped petrol on the way home. i think i'm still horrible at parking. hahaha

2005-04-02T14:11:00.000+08:00

1Apr'05 was Pajigwad Troops Campfire! haha enjoy watching those guys work and enjoying themselves at the end of the day. running and scrambling about doing up things. Me? i just stand around and look pretty. Wait for things to go wrong and rectify the problems.

Ow! Francis in Scouts uniform. Ha! Tie no more scraf, been wearing that tie coming 2yrs now. haha its starting to grow on me.

Back against the Library block in the old courtyard

Me with the old brothers quarters building. This beloved sec sch of mine has a rich history, stretching back before my father's time. haha, OLD!

Gateway entrance that our "Bangla Scouts" built. those were the good old days when i was part of these banglas working our arses off overnight to erect strutures that at so unstable, that we ALL wanna go up.

Pretty fire... flames reached bout 1.7m? coz thats bout my height. Small fire, Pretty fire

2005-04-01T10:38:00.000+08:00

great morning! woke up at 7am, went for a run at 8. clocked my 2.4km at 10:15. haha so happy, hope it'd maintain at that rate and improve further when i enter. haha. Left knee and right ankle seems to feel abit tensioned and stressed while I make my regular runs lately. How long more it can hold I do not know. But am currently trying to perfect the runs to minimize injury and still increase the speed.

later going back down to st pat's for Pajigwad campfire. hehe, tmr got Cheung Cheng cf also. hehe, so packed schedule these coming days. Then I’m still trying to decide if I should go for the SL camp or not. Most likely I will. Haha, reason as to why I’m going down? I also dunno? Maybe juz becoz it’s a camp and I haven’t been to one proper one as a participant for ages.

april fools day today it is! if u read this before the day has end. BEWARE! on your guard if u please. there could be lurking dangers at every corner u rnd. haha

oh oh! i'm happy with the new connection speed! so fast! d/l'ing stuff again! haha love starhub maxonline. Now watching intial D fourth stage. Seeing the way they drive is like so cool! Haha, but NO I’m not speeding. I’d like to continue bluffing myself that I’m a safe driver. Need to learn how to change gear smoothly before I go any faster. Control of the car is still not as mastered.

2005-03-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

long time never blog anything? well i'd consider this long... now that i have so much time but have no idea how i intend to spend it. sleeping most of it away... wasting life away juz like that. is this what i really want? why am i just sitting here waiting for something to happen rather than go out there and find something to do.

think i'm becoming like my dad. haha juz lazing arnd aimless, lost... difference between him and me is... i still have a heck long rd to travell... haha, i wanna be someone up there. high, mighty and untouchable. but at the rate i'm going? i think the only way i can get there is if luck really really shines and flares me up like a great ball of fire. haha

playing with my guitars at the moment. such a long time since i played with them. haha, losing the touch, due to a lost of interest in it... long story. maybe another day i shall tell. haha

2005-03-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

today took the car out at 3pm to meet Minoway and Alex to go for a spin. went places such as orchard and central. parked at a Marina Square carpark to have some drinks at a gourmet coffee places (forgot the name) then waited for Idros to come visit us. a Pre-NUS student... working as a security guard... with oversized uniform and stains on them. haha, it was a funny sight.

Late to meet kenneth, Ell, Sebast and Shai for dinner. KCC closed, so ended up at BK. filling meal. walked arnd abit then re-settled at starbucks for drinks. Met alicia and jordan there. met gijo there. haha, singapore is too small. sat down chit chat with them...

Drove alicia and her friend back. then jordan to his place. got home at 12midnight. now juz stoning away... probably today drove another 100km or so. petrol tank down 1/4. haha, enjoying the drives. still thinking of the internal lightings, steering wheel and the gear shift knob. haha

2005-03-26T12:44:00.001+08:00

last night went driving after going to church for stations of the cross. supposed to be with 3 other ppl. in the end due to unforeseen circumstances, only ended up with ash. haha.

went to bedok central to eat dinner, then drove to pasir ris park there chill out under the stars and feel the wind blowing. can u believe a beach side bar that ranout of coconuts?! its by the beach for goodness sakes... stock up on your coconuts. haha. next is a drive down to changi, then towards ECP and thru marine parade back towards tampines and into pasir ris to drop off ash before heading home.

starting to get the hang of the car. trying to drive it as smoothly as i can. braking ain't a problem much. changing gears still abit jerky. now its remembering roads. haha, thats gonna be a challenge.

2005-03-24T17:52:00.000+08:00

Nissan Presea, my car! haha, ain't she a pretty? don't foresee to be changing her outside looks anytime soon. maybe i'll work on her inside first.

Side view, its lower than avg cars. 1600cc. sports series. kind of rare in singpore. hey but... it's got 4 wheels, moves and gets me places. she'll work just fine.

This is what keeps her reving. she sounds wonderful. didn't even have to change exhaust pipe to make her sound right. haha

Nice comfy leather seats, metal pedals. maybe should do something bout the steering wheel, gear shift knob and handbrake. save money again.

Dashboard. idle rev is bout 800. somehow the angle here abit off. Dad took this baby on ECP at 90, and told me it was effortless and could even go further. haha

Love this dashboard to bits at night. really captivating blueish purple light. hoping to add neon lights at the pedal area to see what i'm stepping on at night.

Close up of this dashboard taken at night with the lights on. Can't wait for the next time i take her out driving at night again.

2005-03-24T11:46:00.000+08:00

Today is thur, its only been 2days since exams have been over. still feeling high and excited that i have finished my poly life. entering army. most likely 3may since 1may is public holiday and a sun, 2may is the holiday brought forward. so that leaves 3may... well well we shall see when i receive my official letter of invitation into my career.

Yst went ice-skating all the way at jurong. so far far far away. haha. but it was fun. skate until blister, burst, and bled. hahaha, felt great. was kindda easy for me to catch on skating as i used to roller blade. still could do some of the funny stunts i used to be able to do on my blades. but hey i learnt new trick on the ice rink too. how to stop with style. haha, sending sheets of ice flying. looked damn cool, esp the way the pro's there did it. haha

at night went down to changi airport to see charlene fly off, again. miss her *wave wave* bye bye again. when will i see u again? haha. then had gd laugh there. these bunch of i-guides never fails to entertain and tickle me silly at darkest of my hours.

going to miss sch... well not the projects, exams and tutorials of course. but the friends and gd times spent at that place. miss u all!

2005-03-21T14:46:00.000+08:00

Boo! one down half a paper left to go. haha half because its open book! hope i get outta TP in 3yrs, or i'm in so much trouble. haha.

Lunched with xiang rui, robin, eugene, james. saw her for like 1 brief moment as she walks by as i sat there eating. Ponder ponder... she walked by, gave a quick wave. whats that mean? *lost soul* conversations that dun go anywhere, reactions that are so hard to read. its all juz blank. am i getting anywhere? or is she juz avoiding me. i think, i think too much. it's probably all my wishful thinking... we shall see. i keep hearing ppl telling me i'm going somewhere, but i can't seem to sense that from her. ARGH! haha

Wheeee.....!!! by tmr afternoon i'll be done! no more sch worries. might even decide to go wash the car if its still in the lot when i get home. haha

2005-03-20T00:36:00.000+08:00

this morning went jogging for the second time in a row. yst was a long 5km +- run with paul, today spent the time training for speed. ran 2rnds round the park under 1:40 each before taking a break of 1min. clocked 11:20 for 6rnds in the park inclusive of the 2min break times. got to keep it up. entering soon. must get used to it and train for better timing. aiming for under 10min for 2.4km.

went sch study. Qiu rong was at TP already so met up with her before the rest. when others got here... somehow we managed to get access into an LT. dun ask me how? but we got in. havoc inside, tried to study, failed miserably.

Went for dinner near Paul's home, sweat like a pig... cause of the chilli in mee goreng. haha, river that never dries up. went to playground and slack with them. Qiu Rong was like trying to see rats close up. not bad, i always thought girls scared *squeak squeak*. there's alot i dun know bout these ppl. haha.

Sent Qiu Rong and Xiang Rui home in my car. miss my car, 2 days never drive. haha. paul also came along to accompany me on the return journey. haha

2005-03-19T12:23:00.000+08:00

final 2 exam papers are on this coming monday and tuesday. feeling like i haven't studied enough. wait a minute, i haven't started yet~! no wonder the quissy feeling... my spirits are deeply dampened by 2failures, POE and IB mid sem test failed... Both! too late to worry bout those now coz those 2 are non-examinable subjects. i juz hope the porject manages to cover up for the low test marks and get me by with at least a pass. Better start studying for the last 2 subjects, Law and Managerial Accounting. i dun need another shock.

Minds a mess, thinking thinking thinking of someone... haven't seen her for 48hrs at least now. last time was when we went to the food fair at suntec and hung out at the esplanade roof top before going back home. haha, piggy backed her. wah high ah. of all the girls i carried before... this felt best? hehe. -blinded by emotions-

yst could have seen her, but then i had already arranged a meeting with my band members to chill out at swiss hotel. which turned out horribly boring... wished i had gone dinner with them... Wonder if she'll ever return how i feel about her.